i have always had a knack for piecing words together to perfectly capture feelings, moments, and ideas. but when sitting down to put together a blog to recap my first month on the race i can’t help but fear that all my words, no matter how big or what order i put them in, they will just fall flat. failing to represent beauty and growth and everything sweet and precious that i have seen life as. but man oh man am i gonna try.
coming in to the race the lord spoke refinement over me in this season. its like i so clearly heard him tell me he was going to just completely create new wine out of me, through the crushing and the pressing of everything that comes with the race. the ministry, the team time, the community, the homesickness, the learning, all of it. so in this blog i am going to try and piece together all the truths that the lord has spoken over me that have led me to further refinement by allowing myself to step into the woman he has called me to be.
in week one alone he gave my teammate the words of, “perfectly imperfect” for me.
and in my journal i reflected upon it and wrote, “to be genuine is to be bold. it does not have to mean loud, extroverted, crazy, or notice me. it means to be raw and vulnerable in the way i love people and in the way i posture my heart. to be sincere is to love. and thats the whole stinking point. to be zealous is to be on fire for the lord. that is boldness.”
so i am a woman who is bold. who is perfectly imperfect. who is sincere and vulnerable.
a couple more days into that first week the lord reminded me i am treasured and adored.
in 1 peter 3:3 it says, “your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.” the father reminded me that i am a daughter who is perfectly imperfect yet in the midst of it all i am adored by him. i am the girl of his eyes, he sees me. all of me and still loves me.
so i am a woman who is adored. who is treasured. who is worthy and whole.
constantly the lord shows me his love through sunlight. something so constant and beautiful whether its rising, setting, or slowly making its way to either end points. and especially on the race in guatemala where beauty is evident and overwhelming i can’t help but sit and bask in the sun. and in 1 thessalonians 5 the message version claims that we are all sons of light and daughters of day and man oh man that could not be more true for what the lord speaks over me constantly.
in a time where change is so evident and things feel more distant than ever, god is showing me i’ll always have the ability to reach out and feel the warmth of the father.
so i am a woman of day. a woman of light. and a woman of warmth.
and in the last week of the month he reminded me of rivers. the importance of where my feet are planted. the way in which i walk and he gave me an image so clear, with his voice so present and said, “you are my mighty and beautiful girl who holds my hand and likes to walk barefoot in the streams.” and so perfectly i got it. he calls me mighty and beautiful because he is the one who chooses and divinely designed my identity. he reminds me to hold his hand because he is the way and the truth and the author of my story. he is the protector who likes to hold me close and make sure i don’t sway when the rivers become too wild. and he lets me be barefoot while i walk, vulnerable and raw and genuine and purely me. he reminds me of the freedom that comes with walking barefoot next to him.
so i am a woman of might and beauty. a woman of intimacy with the father. a woman of barefoot freedom and joy.
and while being at debrief having time to process and rest i have just been reminded of such influential truths that the father has spoken over me. jeremiah 17: 7-8 says,
“blessed is the one who trusts in the lord, whose confidence is in him.they will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. it does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. it has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
that is the type of woman he has called to be. a woman who plants roots by the streams of living water that rush over me. a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit who chooses serenity and calmness through droughts, bearing fresh fruit in all the seasons.
so month one. you were perfectly imperfect in all your ways. i can’t wait to walk firmly and faithfully into month two pursuing a divine romance with the father as a mighty and beautiful girl.
life is oh so good and i can’t wait to get back to ministry this week.
signing off for now,
charlie<3
