wow. first blog post of 2019. a month in. meaning 8 months until i leave america and start such a transforming and influential time period in my life. 2019. a big year for me. i’ve gotten a nose piercing. i’ll have my senior prom. next is graduation. turning 18 comes. and then one more summer with all my bestest friends and family. and training camp for world race. and then saying real goodbyes for the first time. and then boom. launch. 2019 is the year i travel to central america, asia and africa for the first time. it’s a year of firsts and lasts like no other.
2019 is also the year that follows 2018. shocker i know. but it’s the year that follows a year where i learned what bitterness was. genuine anger and confusion and frustration and bitterness towards god and my situations.
when the end of 2018 came near i began to do a lot of reflecting as we all do. how did i get so wrapped up in insecurity? why did i allow myself to be enamored with so much comparison instead of compassion? did i make my word for 2018 bitterness unintentionally?
and the questions i brought before the lord. he reaffirmed me of my beauty and my faith and worthiness in his eyes. he put people in my life who remind me i am special and that satan is a liar who loves to tell me i am not good enough. i am not strong enough. i am too meek. i am too forgiving. they are all lies. and when i sat there in my car praying to god. wanting answers to my many questions. he gave me a word to declare over my life in 2019. he gave me a single whisper in my ear.
bold, charlie, bold.
and man, was i confused. like cmon god. you know me. i’m introverted and i like to keep to myself and bold. really? what about, what about joy. or trust. cmon man. those i can do god. i promise.
and i’m sure we all get like that. like really god? are you sure? none of us like to leave our comfort zone. we find any excuse to stay where it’s safe. where it’s warm and comfortable. but god is calling me and you and all christians into boldness. it’s not a character trait. it’s action and it’s lifestyle. it’s something we constantly pray for and bring to god with sincere hearts and say. teach me how to do this.
because one of the biggest things god is teaching me as i prepare for a year of so many crazy adventures is, if we want to be bold. we can’t constantly be fearful of our own inadequacies. i want to be someone who is bold in confidence. bold in faith. and bold in the way i love people.
guys. peter and john. disciples of jesus himself were terrified and insecure. and they had god in the flesh in their arms length at one point. they were taught boldness from day one of being called by jesus. and even they found themselves frozen in fear, but in the book of acts they were filled with the holy spirit and preached the gospel for everyone to hear. and were taken to prison. the very thing they were so fearful of. but acts 4:13 says, “the members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. they also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus.”
and that’s the point of all of this isn’t it. to be ordinary people called by god, doing bold things, being recognized as a christian by the way you speak and act and treat people. it. is. the. whole. point.
and it is what god has declared over my life for 2019. to learn this. to practice it. to implement it forever. and he’s calling you to do the same. so step out with me. throw away thoughts of inadequacy or feeling like you’re unqualified. because you’re more than perfect in god’s eyes for your own specific journey.
ps. y’all all rock. and jesus loves you. and i’m sitting around 4000$ which is crazy cool!! like the lord is providing in ways that i could’ve never planned for. but if you’re still wanting to support you can always donate right here on this blog!!
or buy a t-shirt. i’m selling them until the end of february!!
thank you for all your support and joining my journey!
signing off for now,
charlie <3
