Hello from Tacloban! I have seriously been struggling with what I wanted to share with you guys about my first week here. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. A lot harder than I thought it would be. Yes, I am missing my people at home & yes, I am missing a few of my materialistic items (my bed, my bathroom, AC, dad’s cooking, etc). But all things I can live without.
It’s been particularly difficult for me when it comes to the ministry side of things. The language barrier is extremely challenging for me but also, a lot of it has to do with my heart. Dude, I am UNCOMFORTABLE. I watch my teammates connect with the kids & radiate love & a joy that I am not feeling right now. It’s been super frustrating. I was feeling really unqualified, out of place, & frustrated going into today’s afternoon feeding.
We do feedings twice a day where we go to a school, typically out in the country, where the kids come flocking with their cups, bowls, tupperware, & even some pitchers to the back of the van where we scoop them rice goo-lash (or however you spell it). They love it! But today, February 5th, being a holiday, Chinese New Year, the kids didn’t have school so we fed them in their communities & it was exactly what I needed. The Lord KNOWS. He knows exactly what I need when I need it the most regardless of where my heart is or was.
I have found comfort & peace in the hammocks we set up overlooking the road & the ocean. That’s where I spend the most time with the Lord, where I hear Him the most.
I have been desperately praying for Him to show himself to me in a tangible way, to show me the kids here are the same as they are back in the states. That a language barrier shouldn’t stop me from pursuing them & loving on them just as I would back at home. That’s exactly what He did today.
I was just standing there, looking at my teammates start to connect with the kids when a little girl, Angel, came running up to me. She was goofy & had the MOST radiant smile ever & immediately grabbed my arm & off we went. She was very chatty & knew a little bit of English but in that moment the language barrier was the last thing on my mind.
(Plz excuse my finger @ the bottom)
We ran, skipped, walked around in circles for a hot minute & she grabbed my arm so tight. Physical touch being my love language it was the Father’s love in a tangible way. After that feeding, I felt life in me again. The Lord is present, He is with me in all my doubt, uncomfort, & loneliness. Angel is a simple reminder that kids are kids no matter where I find myself.
I love & deeply miss you all but I’m growing. Slowly, in ways I don’t even know yet but, I am confident that it’s happening.
Lots of love.
(Also, please let me know if the pics look funky!)
