Going on this mission trip means to be a part of something bigger than myself. This trip allows me to find purpose, to have a glimpse of wanderlust while serving a loving Father. Just thinking about myself getting on the plane to Costa Rica brings so much joy to my heart. For the first time in all my life I feel like I have a purpose. That my life is filled with so much meaning. The best way I can describe the sense of meaning and joy that I am filled with is similar to the feeling you get when you have been running for miles and you finally approach your destination. It’s that first breath once your feet come to a stop. You know, the slow, deep breath that fills your tired lungs with air. It’s in this moment where you feel like this is what you have been waiting for from the very beginning of your run. But, right before the moment is gone something happens. You get a taste of satisfaction and peace that fill your body. You have successfully completed something you started, one check mark can be printed by your list of “to-do’s” for the day. Going on this mission trip has allowed me to metaphorically put a check mark on my life to-do list. I am nowhere near close to the finish line on His path for me but I have reached a checkpoint and my soul is radiating with satisfaction and peace.
It hasn’t always been this way though. Over the past year my life has been filled with all sorts of anxieties. Anxiety about graduating, becoming a nurse, finding a job, finding the perfect job, finding a place to live post-graduation, feeling behind on the clock-of-life and so much more. But more than anything my anxieties were focused on wanting to find purpose in what I have worked so hard for during my college career. Most of this anxiety stimulated from things that were completely out of my control. Being in control and having a “plan” has always been something that I have struggled giving over to God.
Then something happened, something changed. I went to this church that my friends were raving about. The morning that I pulled into Engage City Church I had this feeling come over me. It was a sense of being home. From this day forward God began to move mountains for me. He opened and closed multiple doors and He is still continuing to do so. Some of these things I have a hard time understanding why or what He is doing. It’s when things really started to fall into place that I could see Him molding me from the inside out. My puzzle piece of a life that only had a boarder was finally getting the center pieces put together. I want you to understand, I’m not saying that going to Engage wiped all of my anxieties and fears away with the flip of a switch because that’s obviously not true. Going to church didn’t make the hard days go away either. But, what I am saying is surrounding myself with positive people who are supportive and have God on their side makes those days a whole lot easier. Going to church, hearing the message, identifying my support system, and giving my anxieties and fears to Him has really allowed my spirit to grow in ways that I could never imagine.
Why am I telling you this? Because at the end of the day, we have to remember His plan is far greater than ours could ever be and we have to trust in the process. Since making this decision to travel to Costa Rica and Nicaragua I can honestly say I am free from my anxiety. Every day I am reminded that this trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity to bring His message to life, to love and be loved by a community that shares the same values as I do and this is truly what life is all about.
If you feel led to support me in this journey you can do so by clicking the “donate!” tab to the left. Thank you for reading this long post and for all of your support, love and prayers. I’m beyond blessed to have you in my life!
