This week, I met a friend’s newborn baby and two days later I woke up to the sad news of an unexpected death in my extended family. The good is always juxtaposed to the bad. There are many days I treat life as ordinary when there is absolutely nothing ordinary about being alive. My entire life is a spectacular gift, I never taught my lungs to breathe or my heart to beat these were given to me. There is so much out of my control and so much I do not understand, but sometimes taking a simple inventory of my life can alter my day. Today as I worked on a project, I got lost in my photo library and scrolled through the last year and a half of my life in reverse remembering the hurt, the pain, the failures, the triumphs, the joys, the adventures, the challenges, the growth, the laughs, the faces of so many people I love and adore, and gosh I was blown away at the incredible ride my life has been thus far. Life makes sense in reverse, but it must be lived forward. Living takes faith. I so want to put my faith in the author of my life, but it’s still scary.
I’m calling this, It’s A Wonderful Life because it’s true, but it’s also a Christmas movie. I watched it for the first time this Christmas season and I was happy crying at the end. It reminded me of when we try to do life alone as George Bailey panics when a large sum of money goes missing from his business, he could face jail time, and his whole life is in jeopardy. He feels no peace and becomes the worst version of himself. He hides and runs away thinking the only way to fix the problem is to kill himself. His guardian angel springs into action to save George showing him what life would be like for everyone he knows if he’d never existed. Suddenly, George sees that not living at all is much worse than facing his current circumstance and begs for his life back. This time, he rejoices to see his family, his little hometown, and even the men who’ve come to arrest him. Of course, this is a movie, so in the nick of time his wife reached out to everyone in town and all of his friends spring into action to help George and he goes from in debt to the richest man in town in just a few hours. This is what happens when we let Jesus be the God of our lives, we go from the bottom of the barrel to living so freely and loving the beauty of it all. Just as in Genesis, Adam and Eve hide from God after sinning and He comes looking for them not to hurt them, but help them. I believe It’s A Wonderful Life depicts how as George was spiraling out of control running from his life, his guardian angels comes for him to show him the way back to his life. God does that for us through the story of Jesus, which is the Bible. So often, I’m tempted to do everything in my own power and even with the World Race, I was like perhaps I’ll just save up my own money to pay for the trip I don’t want to bother people I know for money, but as I began to think this I felt God wanted me to understand the money isn’t for me, it’s for Him and His kingdom’s cause. My plan wouldn’t require faith, but the thing is I’ve been saved by my Savior, I don’t have to fail at saving myself anymore. Jesus wants to do that for me. I’m afraid to let people in and be vulnerable and ask for anything, but God wants me to tear down those walls and trust Him, so He can get the glory. I don’t know what God is trying to accomplish through my life in the World Race, but I want to be available to Him I don’t want to take any step without Him at the helm. I told Him I wanted to do something that required faith, so now I have to depend on Him and trust Him. No matter what, He’s good.
