What does it really mean to step out on faith? We always say we trust the Lord with our plans, our future, our finances, and so on. Let’s be honest. Sometimes we tell ourselves that to make ourselves feel better. At least I did in so many instances. I kept thinking that the more I said it the more I’d believe it. The problem with that is that they were just words. I needed to open my heart to believe those words and I wasn’t. Now, did I know I wasn’t fully trusting the Lord with every part of my life? Absolutely not. I thought I was. The Lord put Job 23:15 on my heart this morning. It reads “ therefore, I am terrified at his presence.” I went ahead and read the chapter and the verse right before it says “ he completes what he appoints in me.” This sat in my soul for a minute and made me reflect on myself and my trust in the Lord. One of my desires this year is to walk in the upmost obedience to the Holy Spirit. To trust that he will show me what he has for me. I had the thought that maybe I am afraid to be led by his presence fully. I am afraid to know what he has for me in case I don’t want that for myself. The thing is though, is that it isn’t MY plan, it is HIS. I say I want to follow the plan he has for me but I still hold on to what I want for myself. So I guess I’m being vulnerable in saying I am terrified at his presence, but I am also thrilled, nervous, and expectant. I want to grow. I want to feel. I want to desire the Lord’s presence more than the things I choose for myself. So I am going to believe the words I say. I will trust the Lord with my whole heart. I won’t just say it – I will do it, believe it, and choose it everyday. Again and again. Will this year have struggles? Definitely. Will I be terrified at what God may put in front of me? Absolutely. BUT he has shown that he completes what he appoints in me and I choose to trust. I may feel terrified but I will choose to trust the Lord.
