Hey, friends! Quick update- due to Covid19, my squad and I were sent home from the field 6 weeks early. I’ve been back in America for about a week now and am adjusting back to what life looks like in this quarantined land. Here’s some thoughts and reflections from my time this past month in Thailand. I’ll be sure to post some more blogs over the next few weeks about my time on the race and the transition home. Much love to all of you! – Ashley
For months, my team and I looked forward to our time in Thailand, as many of you probably would. Thailand is a beautiful country filled with white sandy beaches, palm trees, and breathtaking views. The reason why we were drawn to Thailand, however, was much more than that- we all felt a desire to work with women caught in the sex trafficking industry and we knew that Thailand is known as one worst countries for this trade. We spent the months before Thailand praying, researching, and contacting ministries who work directly with these women in preparation for our time here.
When we arrived in Thailand, our hostel was located just around the block from one of the worst red light districts in the world, and walking down the street anytime between 8pm-8am was an entire different experience than anything I’ve ever seen before. There were half dressed women everywhere you looked, pole dancers in every open bar, and literally hundreds of people walking around putting sex show menus in your face and trying to entice you into the underground clubs and bars. For my team members and I this was all a bit overwhelming. The very thing we had been praying for throughout the past few months was right outside of our door and yet it felt like a big and insurmountable task. How were we, six girls, with limited time and limited resources, supposed to make any kind of difference here? Where did we even start? Is this safe?
The first week was almost paralyzing for many of us. Our team was split up due to one of my teammates being in the hospital, many of the contacts we tried to meet had fallen through, and we (okay mostly me) were consumed with the idea of doing this the “right” way. Whenever one of my teammates would suggest we go to the walking street to do bar ministry with the women working there, my mind would start spinning with all of the logistics. As a mental health therapist, I’m well aware that sometimes trying to help can actually be harmful if done incorrectly, and the last thing I wanted to do was put my team, myself, or any of the women we were trying to minister to in danger. We attempted a few times to meet women in the bars and to get to know them, but without guidance and direction, it was a little futile.
The first Sunday in Thailand, we attended a small church about a half a mile from our hostel. Even though my team doubled the size of the congregation, we quickly realized this was exactly where we were meant to be. You see, as we were praying for ways to make connections with the women in the bars, a woman at this church was praying for a team to assist her in the bar work she had been doing for years. She had even previously hosted World Race teams and recently had a team from another ministry fall through and was feeling overwhelmed with the idea of continuing the ministry alone. It was a match made in heaven. Ha.
Over the next two weeks we went to the bars almost every night we could. Our contact had made friends at a few of the quieter bars off of the side street, so we would go to one of them, order a coke or sprite, and sit down and talk with the girls there. Sometimes we played connect four or dice games, once we brought homemade cookies to share, but mostly we just talked with them and treated them like you would treat your friends. One night specifically, I remember playing darts with the owner of the bar. As I sat and drank my coke, waiting my turn, I remember feel so conflicted. What’s the right way to feel towards this man? How am I supposed to be interacting with him? I recalled something that one of our team coaches had told us during our last debrief- she said that we’ll have moments when we feel so angry at the men who employee these women or who purchase them, but that our anger shouldn’t be towards them. They aren’t the enemy, sin is, evil is. As we sat in that bar, I kept going back to “are we doing the right thing?”
Our ministry this month may have seemed unconventional. Many people wouldn’t understand how sitting in a bar at 10 or 11pm would be considered mission work. It turns out, ministry doesn’t come down to doing what is “right” or “wrong”, but being and showing love. Jesus didn’t come to condemn, but to love and to guide and to comfort. I brought this up with my team later and truly asked them, and myself, what would Jesus do in this town? What would Jesus do in that bar? Are we modeling His love and walking in His footsteps? If He was here in this town would we pair up with Him or would we be against Him? When we love the least of these, when we reach out a hand to those who are hurting, and when we sit besides those who are lost and alone, do we not, in some ways look like Him?
As we’ve unexpectedly transitioned back to America this past week, I don’t want to lose the meaning of these questions. I don’t want to stop looking for opportunities to look like Jesus and model His love. I don’t want to bring condemnation and judgement but rather compassion and understanding. I don’t want to sit back and be overwhelmed by the need and the hurt but to step up and reach out, even if it’s just to one. Jesus saw the one, and He loved them as if they were the only one, and it’s my hope that I too can do the same.
