After talking with some people who have gone on The World Race and reading the “About Me” posts for my squad mates who will be traveling with me, I’ve come to realize something. I’m not really in the same life stage that most World Racers are in. I own a house, I’m in a long-term relationship, and I am fairly established in my career. I have a dog and bills and student loans and a whole slew of responsibilities that I will be leaving behind in order to follow this calling.
And I have to admit, at times I’ve felt some guilt for committing to this trip. You see, I currently work as a school counselor for two elementary schools in my district. I have roughly 600 students on my case load and help teach things like emotional recognition and regulation, social skills, conflict management, and empathy in 26 classrooms along with providing individual and group counseling services and assisting in crisis situations and threat assessments. I feel like my job is very “needed”- I start (and end) each day with a to-do list a mile long and wake up in the middle of the night remembering a kid that I didn’t get to talk to or a phone call that I wasn’t able to make. My team works very closely together and we do our best to have everybody’s back and to advocate for our students’ needs. We work hard every day to do everything that needs to be done for the best interest of our students. And I’m leaving it. For a year. It’s hard not to worry about the kids and teachers and support staff that I am leaving behind and to wonder what it will be like in my absence. It’s hard not to feel some level of guilt that I won’t be there for them next school year.
A few weeks ago during the worship service at my church we were singing the song “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury and I felt God speak to me through it. As I was singing the lyrics I felt Him say that I am supposed to be in pursuit of others with the same reckless love that He pursues me. I am supposed to climb the mountains, tear down the lies, kick down the walls, and light up the shadows in going after others. I’m called to chase people down, fight until they are found, and leave the ninety-nine. And it brought me to tears because it confirmed, once again, my calling for this trip. I felt peace knowing that I was leaving my “ninety-nine” to chase after others in the same way that Jesus would. I am called to be His hands and feet and to show the reckless love of God in such a way that people will see my deeds and glorify His name (Matthew 5:16). And even though it may mean leaving my ninety-nine (or 600, in my case), it doesn’t mean that I’m leaving them forever.
