Have you ever heard the saying “ if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”? I feel like this sums up a lot of our lives right now.
It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I came home to America. One day we were at the beach in Thailand, and the next day we were on a plane home. In our minds, we still had 6 weeks left on the World Race. 6 weeks before we had to even think about what our next steps would be. I still had 4 countries I was “supposed to go to”. In the last 2 weeks I’ve been thinking about the way my life was “supposed to go” in my head. I planned to be married by now. I planned to have children. I planned to have my own house. What I did not plan for was to go to 10 countries that would change my plans completely. And then I certainly did not plan to come back from those countries 6 weeks early.
But God had other plans. The Bible tells us that His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). His ways are higher. And better. And yes, sometimes that involves a pandemic that is costing people their lives and their jobs. Am I saying that God chose this for us? No. But He has promised to work this out for those who love Him and are called according to HIS purpose. When I came home, one of the biggest things I asked God was “Why?” Not in a selfish “Why me?” kind of way but more in a genuinely curious way. I truly believe there was a purpose for God bringing me home early. I knew there had to be a purpose for us here in America that warranted us being here instead of Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, and Australia. But I very much felt powerless in self-quarantine. I asked God how I was supposed to reach people when I wasn’t even allowed to be 6 feet from them.
When I left for the World Race, I was done with travel nursing in my head. I thought for sure God would call me to serve long term as a nurse overseas. Or that I would meet my future husband on my mission trip (Ha! I even laugh at that one). Neither of those two things happened. Instead, God confirmed something I’ve had on my heart for a while, which is that I want to be a foster mom. Now again, my original plan was to get married and eventually foster in addition to having my own children. But the funny thing about when God exchanges our plans for His, He usually prepares our hearts in advance. Usually.
In Ethiopia we stayed at a children’s home for children who either did not have parents or whose parents could not care for them. For the first couple of weeks we were there I distanced myself from the kiddos. Looking back, I realize I was trying to protect myself. I knew that if I fell for those kids the way my heart longed to, that it would devastate me to leave them knowing I very well may never see them again. But God reminded me that those are His children. And that He wanted to show them His love through me. That I could trust Him to continue loving them long after we left Ethiopia. In that moment I knew, that one day when the time came to say goodbye to my foster child that with His strength I would be able to do it. And that that child’s life could be better after being a part of mine.
So all of a sudden the girl who absolutely did not want to put down roots, is now looking at buying a house in Texas. One of the amazing things the World Race gifted me was community. A God-loving community who encouraged me and loved me the way the Church is supposed to love. I’ve been missing that in my life for a long time. And after this year, I know that I need to have that community, especially if I am going to be a single foster parent. I want to be close to my family and build a community of believers to walk through life with. I have no idea the timeline of when this will all take place. I’m just trusting that the Lord will continue to open doors and show me what steps to take.
Speaking of plans going out the window…I had planned to take at least one month and stay home with my parents after the Race ended. Instead, after praying for God to open and close doors- I applied for and got hired for a 12 week travel job in Illinois all within the same day. After only 3 weeks of being home I will be starting a job in the Pediatric ICU near Chicago next Monday. I am so excited for this next adventure. God has orchestrated every detail of this move so clearly, that all I can do is trust Him. I asked Him why He brought me home early, and I truly believe this is the answer to my question. I think there are people in Chicago who need to hear about the peace that God gives amidst circumstances that instill fear.
I will admit I’m a little nervous about returning to a high stress work environment after not working as nurse for almost a year. Please be praying for me as I once again face a big transition. Any calls, texts, and prayers over the next few weeks are so so appreciated. And yes, I will be as careful as I can be as far as the Coronavirus goes. But I will also not let it stop me from loving my neighbor as myself. Thank you to everyone who supported me on my World Race journey. I pray that God has spoken to you in some way as you’ve gone through this journey with me.
With so much love,
Alyssa
P.S: Please comment with any Chicago must sees 🙂
