As a sophomore in high school I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Guatemala. When I got home, I slept in my comfy bed for one night and was off to my next destination the following morning: church camp. During my week at camp, I spent a lot of time trying to reflect and comprehend what had just happened on my trip. I felt God changing the trajectory of my life as he shaped the desires of my heart.
I will never forget the last night of camp. We had just finished up with a sermon and we’re encouraged to reflect and pray as we walked to the bonfire. I remember looking up at the stars as I walked; the sky was so clear. It was as if I was looking directly at God. I began to pray- “God, what now? What do you want me to do?” Clearer than the sky itself, I heard Him say “Follow me.” My response slipped out before I could even think- “But I’m so scared!” Before I knew it I was in front of the fire. Everyone took their seats as I slowly sat, shaking. We were handed a wood slice with instructions to write an “I am” statement on it. Some wrote phrases like “I AM brave” or “I AM worthy”. Within seconds, I knew exactly what to put on mine. With my shaky hand, I wrote, “I AM going to follow you.”
I made a declaration that night that I was going to following God no matter where He called me to go or what He called me to do. Even as I write that statement now, my heart drops and my eyes swell with tears. That he would meet me where I am and call me, ME of all people, to follow him is incomprehensible.
So here I am now, dedicated to following Christ and the next mission He’s laid on my heart. This mission looks a lot different than ones from the past. It’s not starting a small group, going to Guatemala, or sharing my testimony with the girl in class. This time it looks like traveling to Swaziland, Thailand, and Nicaragua to love people in a way I never have before… a way I’ve never even thought of before. It looks like being stretched in new ways and trusting Him to take care of me through it all.
I’m not gonna lie, I often lose track of why I follow God, or why I ever said I would in the first place. I mean, in all seriousness, my initial response to following Him was “I’m scared”! However, my fear didn’t deter God because He knew that even though I was scared, I didn’t truly have a spirit of fear. I have a spirit of power, love, and of sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) because of Him. When fear tempts to cripple me, I’m reminded of the voice that said “follow me.” It’s that voice. It’s filled with so much love. It gives me purpose, so I follow it.
God, I AM going to follow you. Now and forever.
