If you had asked me what I thought the world race would be like I would have told you that it would be stretching, hard, beautiful, filled with amazing experiences and people. I would say all of that is true so far.
I fully believe that God doesn’t leave you unchanged when you seek him. He uses all of the stretching, hard, and beautiful things to shape you. I have this verse hanging in my kitchen back home because it’s a reminder of how I want to live my life. “They pulled their boats on shore, left everything and followed him” Luke 5:11. I want to be one of those people. The ones that leave everything this world says is important to chase after what God says important. I don’t want to find my worth in a career or in a title or in who other people say I should be. Let me tell you those lines get blurred all the time for me because “I’m a social worker-I’m a good person-I help people for a living”. Those are 100% great things but they aren’t everything. Yes, I knew these things before the race so what am I learning now?
He’s teaching me to not only know those things but to believe them. I have a tendency to take credit for what God does, #prideful. I plant one tree in a forest and will take credit for the entire view, when truth is he created the view and he invited me into the creation. That’s amazing in itself. He’s teaching me to rely on his strength instead of striving to rely on myself. It’s hard y’all, I’m really good at self-reliance. He’s teaching me dependence on him and no one else. He’s teaching me to have a deeper understanding of who he is and his heart for me. He’s also teaching me to let go of some things that are holding me back-more to come later. There’s a lot to process people.
I’d say that’s a lot for one month so I have a feeling month 2 in Ghana is going to rock my world some more. So this month I’m wrestling with questions and honestly that’s a beautiful place to be. I’ll keep you posted the more I learn about these things because I don’t believe he’ll leave me with questions and let me tell you I have plenty.
So, I’ve already pulled my boat up on shore, I’ve left everything, and I’m running hard after Him. I’m doing this because I want to know Jesus more. It’s for the beautiful people I meet along the way but it’s because of Jesus that I leave my life back home to do it.
Love you all!
Vanessa
