Someone tell me how that happened?
If you had asked me at any point in my life if I would do mission work my answer would have been absolutely not; but here we are, embarking on an 11 month mission trip all over the world to be a missionary in the next few months. So how did I get here? Good question.
Missionary, the “M” word I never thought would come out of my mouth. About five years ago I went to Guatemala on a “volunteer trip” followed by Bolivia for a mission trip (which I refused to call a mission trip at the time). Those two experiences were quite different and to say I was in a different place in life at that point is an understatement. Yes, I got to serve people, I got to experience two very beautiful cultures, and build relationships with people; but honestly I left God out of it. Full transparency I went to Bolivia to mark off “I’ve been to South America” on my bucket list (I want to visit all 7 continents). I’ve spent most of my life viewing God as controlling, demanding, angry, unloving, and judgmental. What was amazing about Bolivia was that the people there had such a strong faith despite their circumstances. I mean I have seen poverty before but this was by far the most significant I had seen. A family of 8 owned one little four walled room which held the kitchen. The “rooms” were added on to this kitchen made with sheets of metal, pieces of wood they found, old doors used to create walls and animals (pigs, chickens, birds, etc) ran in and out of their home. Compared to my cushy lifestyle back home where I don’t have wild animals running around me and metal for walls- it seemed like they had nothing but each other and their faith. I remember always thinking, how do they have such joy when they have nothing? I couldn’t figure out how that was possible but I knew I wanted that-joy in hard times. I wish I could say that changed my perspective of God. It didn’t.
A year later I needed to hit my rock bottom (which is a story for another time)-to lose a lot of things and people in my life, in order for me to allow Jesus to meet me in my mess; and it took a while for me to view God differently. Over time I found Him to be loving, healing, merciful, grace filled, compassionate and trustworthy. He met me in dark places, he met me in my shame, he met me in my guilt, in my judgement, in my anger, in my hurt and pain. He not only healed me from those things but redeemed them. Holy cow! I am far from perfect but I am far from who I once was! I promise all that didn’t happen because “I’m special” or deserving but because grace is real y’all! I constantly feel unqualified! All I know is that I’ve experienced a crazy changed life and joy, so why would I not want others to experience that too!
So how did I get here- to be a missionary for nearly a year?
Changed Life + Deep desire to Know Him + desire to serve others + desire to be the person he created me to be= Missionary.
So I’m ready. I’m ready for it to be really hard. I’m ready to be exhausted. I’m ready for Him to change me in ways I don’t even know I need it. I’m ready to make a difference in people’s lives and have them make a difference in mine. I’m ready to be uncomfortable. I’m ready for this next adventure.
Side Note: I’m going back to Bolivia. That’s why I picked this route. What a beautiful picture, to come full circle to love these folks with the love of God instead of checking things off my bucket list! But in God’s kindness I get to check off two additional continents!
