Overflowing love
These past months in Europe were very difficult for me. I couldn’t describe how I was feeling on a daily basis. Most of the time I would just feel numb. Losing my dad was unexpected. I didn’t know how to process it or how to grieve. It felt like I was just going through the motions zombielike all through Europe. There were times when I would see something or hear something that would remind me of my dad and I would just start crying.
My team felt strongly that our time in Europe would be following part of Paul’s journey from Athens to Rome. I think God put this on our hearts just for me. My dads favorite person in the Bible was Paul and when he taught Sunday school he always would teach about Paul.
In Athens God showed us unbelievable favor. We booked an Airbnb outside of town that was really just a room above a warehouse. There was no ac in this place and only one small window and it was the hottest time of the year and a heat wave was rolling through. It was so hot places were closed because the equipment couldn’t handle the heat. So we were suffering for a week when we decided to do a night of worship. After we were done worshiping America was praying for us and asked for supernatural ac and about 20 minutes later all the power shut off. Not exactly what we prayed for. Our host couldn’t get the power back on so he had to kick us out so I contacted Airbnb and they booked us in 5 star hotels for the rest of our stay in downtown Athens. What!? Gods love is so amazing.
One night I went by myself to the place where Paul preached in Athens to watch the sunset. This place can be seen by all the old city so you could see why Paul chose this place to preach. As I’m sitting there I just think how awesome it is that I’m getting to travel all these places with my dad watching me and I know he’s so proud of what I’m getting to do.
We were able to take a day trip to Corinth to see where Paul preached before heading to Rome. In Rome we saw were Paul was imprisoned, beheaded, and buried. Again it was Gods love allowing me to be in places that would bring joy thinking of my dad.
From Rome we headed to France where we would start our hike on the Camino De Santiago. This would be another time of suffering for our team. We had no idea how expensive everything would be and how difficult the days would be. Every place was out of budget so we had to camp every night. All the food was out of budget so we got creative with what we could afford. We camped for 15 nights and walked 10-15 miles a day with 30-50 pounds in our packs depending on how much food we had. Blisters, back pain, legs hurting, restlessness towards each other, it was definitely hard but we were all growing.
We then were headed to Spain to stay at my friend Arianna’s place in Altea but first more struggle.
Our first train took us to Toulouse, France where we thought we would just sleep that night in the station because we arrived at midnight and our bus the next day was at 1pm. Nope. We were told to leave as soon as we got there. So we end up staying on the street that night and not getting much sleep. The next night we take an overnight bus to Benidorm, Spain and arrive at 4 am. Then our place isn’t booked until the next day so we ended up sleeping on the beach in Altea. So 18 days total without a bed.
Then the blessing came. We were blessed with a house right on the beach for a week. Another out of budget place that we were graciously given in our budget. Altea is such a beautiful place. Also the best gelato in the world at QVO! This place is so peaceful. It allowed us to rest after long weeks of struggling.
After our time in Altea we headed to Mijas for debrief and PVT. I’m not gonna lie I was not looking forward to it at all. I didn’t want to talk or see anyone or have conversations I knew were coming. I didn’t want to be there. I was frustrated, angry, mad, confused, numb, just all over the place. My mind felt like chaos.
I had all the one on ones and conversations and by the end of debrief I was a little better. Then PVT started where some of the parents were coming for a week to spend time with us.
This was the hardest but best thing for me. When the parents first arrived I couldn’t go meet them. It was to hard to even think about. All the parents and kids getting to see each other and hug and tell stories of their trip. Something I’ll never have the chance to do with my dad.
But this is where my squad stepped in. They knew what I was going through and they were all there for me when I needed them.
I asked to help out with making dinners while they were there. This is something I love to do and it kept me busy most of the day. The first night as we were about to eat I couldn’t eat with everyone. Ana asked if I was ready and I just couldn’t move and just started crying and she just hugged me. I didn’t know how I was going to react to things all week. Sometimes I could do things and others I was just a crying mess.
After the first day I was able to go to everything planned with the parents. I didn’t always participate but I was at least there. Most of the time I was crying just sitting listening.
One night of worship something broke off of me. It was like all the chaos was gone and I was just filled with happiness. I was feeling God’s overflowing love again.
The last months on the race I want to see craziness. I want to see people healed. Limbs grow back. Sight to the blind. Hearing to the deaf. Diseases gone. Anything and everything. But I can’t do anything without love. It’s God’s overflowing love in us that makes these things possible through us. But I don’t want this to end once this race is over. This is something that I want forever. It’s really just the beginning of what God has for me.
