About a year ago, I posted on Facebook a humbling and honest moment I had with the Lord. Some of you may remember reading this. Although I am not proud of my actions, the Lord taught me something through it, and I thought it was worth sharing again on my blog…
December 3rd, 2017
This morning at church, we had a guest speaker who is a missionary to the Philippines. I felt the Lord tug on my heart to give all the cash I had in my purse for his offering. I was fine with this idea because I was pretty positive that I only had $7 with me. When it came time, however, I dug a little deeper in my purse and found an extra $40 that I didn’t realize was in there. God reminded me that He said to give all the cash I had and that He would provide for me. I argued a bit and thought, “Surely He didn’t mean $47” because in my mind I settled with the idea of giving only my $7. Unfortunately, I came up with more excuses and chose to keep the extra $40…
Later this evening, I finally finished washing and drying a bag of clothes that I hadn’t used since last spring. As I folded my laundry, I felt something in the pocket of a pair of pants. To my surprise, I pulled out exactly $7. Immediately, I felt the prick in my heart and couldn’t help but think, “what if I would have given ALL the cash I had? The Lord stayed true to His word that He would provide. Not that I gave just to get the same in return, but what if, what if I would have given it all… maybe I would have found $47 instead.”
I don’t mean to say that we are to give just so we can receive the same in return. Or even that God won’t provide for our needs unless we give to others first. No, God is a good Papa and He will provide for my needs, I know and have experienced this countless times. But it just makes me ponder, why am I so stingy sometimes when I know God is asking me to give my time, money, or love away? Is it worry or fear that holds me back? Is it that I don’t trust Him or just chalk it up to be my own thoughts?
In just a few short weeks, I will be going on another mission trip and I’m not worried that God will provide for me financially. I have seen Him come through every time. But now I need to start listening to Him when he asks me to be part of something bigger than myself. I have no doubt that God will provide for this man going back to the Philippines. But what if I would have listened… I could have been that vessel, that cheerful giver, used by God to bless him with another $40 closer to his goal. Not giving in order to be blessed, but to bless others, to further the Kingdom through this man just as I love to do when God uses me.
“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”
~ 2 Corinthians 9:6-9
