I’m never too sure how I’m supposed to start these thing. It’s funny because I’m able to find the right words when I’m journaling for fun, but something about this blog seems different than simple journaling. I think it’ll come more naturally as time goes on.
This process in preparing for the World Race has been a whirlwind of blessings, lessons, insights, all within the short fraction of time that I’ve been accepted. Days when me and God seem to work in the most perfect, synergistic communion, and days when He has to give me a humbling reality check. God’s good at keeping it real, and I’ve begun to appreciate the way he smooths my rough edges more and more. Perplexing how he doesn’t expect perfection from us— just sincere, wholehearted faith in Him. Gives us room to grow. Learn. Love. I believe God’s rawest, truest form of transformation of the heart is through our sole dependence on Him. And this might be a scary idea for some people. What’s medicine for me might sound like poison to you; it’s contrary to what the world tells us that’s for sure. When I was early in my walk with Jesus it sounded like boundaries, limitations, shackles. But what if these boundaries we think we live in while following Him aren’t boundaries at all? They’re more like roads to freedom. Rich, gracious, undeserving freedom.
Over the past couple of days, I’ve devoted more time with Jesus in solitude than I ever have before. Challenging my sheer extroverted nature. I almost forgot the richness that lays within stillness. Love has been the overflowing theme as it’s weaved its way into conversations with friends, lectures from professors, and messages in chapel. It’s a topic with so many dimensions and things to learn, and I’m never less than inspired when thinking about it. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s immeasurably easy for me to love the people who love and support me. People who lift me up. Invest their time in me. Approve of me. It’s not as easy practicing love towards those who aren’t in your circle. Those who aren’t like-minded. Those who disapprove. Maybe even the lowly. The one we cast judgement on. Funny how this works. A God who’s perfect and infinite loves us despite being messy, broken, and bruised. We have a perfect example of what love should look like. A love that’s so expansive and real it tore the veil between heaven and earth. The realest thing to have ever existed. And strangely enough, we find ways to fall short of mimicking this sacrificial, indescribable, unrelenting love.
As I go forward, I’m realizing that I cannot continue this journey without holding myself to the standard of sincere love. Asking myself in every situation whether I can react with warmth and softness. I see the brokenness of the world around me. It’s loud, big, obvious. And if I can’t love the people who dwell in it in front of my very eyes, then how could I claim to love a God who I can’t see? So I’m praying a prayer for the Lord to open my heart and allow His love to flow in and through me. However it may look. I’m asking Him to fill in my empty spaces and shine through the cracks of my life. God comes up with creative ways to reveal Himself and I’m eager to see what this will look like in the months to come.
Crazy how much you can learn when you quiet your mind enough to hear what He has to say. Thank you to whoever took the time to read this. I can think of a million other things to do other than reading my thoughts so I truly appreciate it! Hoping this gets you thinking of better ways to love. Creative ways to love.
“If I speak in the tongue of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13: 1-3
