When God says “Not yet”

Have you ever wondered if your next decision was the right step? Or have you ever wondered if your next step was taking you in the right direction? If you have, then welcome to the club! If you haven’t, then I need you to help me out. I have been going back and forth on whether or not my next few steps are what I am supposed to be doing.

A few weeks ago, a friend told me the story where Paul and Barnabas would try to go share the gospel in Asia, and every single time the Holy Spirit would stop them. This wasn’t just like a gut feeling you get when something doesn’t seem right. No! The Holy Spirit told them it was forbidden to speak the Word in Asia. In Acts 16:7 it says, “Then coming to the borders of Mysia, they headed north for the province of Bithynia, but again the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them to go there,” the Holy Spirit literally stopped them from entering. I wonder what Paul and Barnabas were thinking and feeling this time. They obviously did not agree and tried to go into Asia for a second time, but still were unable. Right now I feel like Paul and Barnabas. I have two huge, amazing opportunities in front of me, yet they seem to get further and further every time I try to grasp one. The way that I see it is, I am trying to take things into my own hands. I’m going back and forth between the two and not once have I asked the Lord what I should be doing. When I think about what each of the two opportunities will grant me and how I can see the Lord work in each, I get so consumed by confusion that I basically break down. Recently I learned that it is okay to be confused and scared, but we cannot let that consume who we are. The enemy will instill fear in us so that we doubt God’s plan for us. It is easy to automatically say “no” when we become scared. Even sitting here writing this, I can feel the anxiety of not knowing what comes next come over me. But even then, the Lord is constantly showing me that I need to find my peace in Him. Last night a friend of mine sent me a video of Amanda Cook singing Peace by Hillsong Y&F, but I completely forgot to listen to it.  This morning I remembered that I still hadn’t listened to it so I did and let me tell you, Jesus made me wait until that very moment to read it. If you haven’t heard this song, please go listen to it.

This is my favorite part:

Not only does it speak directly about how I am feeling, during the instrumental break Amanda Cook begins to sing “this is where the war ends”. Now I’m not sure if anything above made any sense to you, but listen to this. It doesn’t matter that I am confused or scared because at the end of the day I’m not that one who has the control over what will happen next. I’ve learned in the midst of feeling lost, we need to surrender it ALL to Him so that He is able to work. Andy Stanley says “Wherever there is fear, there is great opportunity. Wherever there is great fear, there is great opportunity.” I’m going to have faith that in my fear the Lord will guide me to greatness.