Hey everyone! Sorry I haven’t posted a blog in so long; my mind has been preoccupied. So far my 2019 has been rough. When the New Year began I just knew this was going to be killer year! I’ve been growing so much and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been! How could this possibly be a bad year? Well, shortly into January I was faced with anxiety/depression that I didn’t know what do with. It made going to ministry hard and even being social. All I wanted to do was pour into others and serve them and it was hard to even do that. I’ve been faced with tough decisions and weird emotions that had me confused. I was upset with God for allowing me to feel like this. I didn’t think you were suppose to talk to God if you were mad at Him, so for awhile I didn’t; and honestly all I wanted to do was yell at Him. But someone told me that God can handle ALL of our emotions. He’s an understanding God and wants to know our feelings. He just wants to spend time with us even if it’s just me expressing how confused and hurt I am. So that’s exactly what I did. He quickly assured me that He is still working things out within my life. That even though this may seem like a time of hurt with no purpose, He has a greater plan. I wish I could tell you all what that plan is but I can’t. And I’m okay with the unknown because I promised myself this year that I would NOT walk in fear. I could so easily look at all the things going wrong right now and feel like a failure. I could let the devil have a foothold on my life and believe the lies he’s pushing toward me. But I won’t. Just because things haven’t started out on the best note doesn’t mean this year won’t be the best one of my life. It took me a long time to stop feeling pitty for myself and to turn my thoughts around to look at the unknown as a positive. Because it is! I have the whole year ahead of me that can look like so many things! And I can’t wait to find out what they are.
