new dirt

tonight my heart hurts. 

a lot. 

sobbing i said to God “it feels like my heart has been uprooted”

& that’s because it has.

it has because i am a seed,

a seed He buried to grow.

& like a seed buried to grow, i grew. 

 

i grew because i was watered.

i grew because i was thirsty for the living water. 

so the living water watered me and sent others to do the same.

and i grew.

 

He helped me dig deeper so i could grow deeper. 

and i grew.

 

i grew because at times His “help” looked like immovable stones.

stones that blocked the path for me but left plenty of room for Him to intercede. 

 

i grew because at times His “help” looked like unthinkable friendships. 

friendships that reflected the depth Christ’s love and served as testimonies to His faithfulness.

 

i grew because at times His “help” looked like love notes.

love notes that reminded me of His constant kindness and sovereignty.

 

so i grew. 

 

i grew where i was planted as i abided in all He provided.

 

and guess what?

i grew in deep. 

really really deep.

 

& that’s why my heart hurts right now.

 

my heart hurts because this seed He has sown is growing and thriving; yet, He is uprooting.

 

in this season the seed has grown but the time has come for repotting, and repotting means uprooting, and uprooting means new dirt, and new dirt means change, and change is hard. 

 

but change also promises new opportunities for greater things.

 

my heart has been uprooted, but because i am rooted in the One known as unshakable i will not be shaken.

 

 

yes, i will feel all the feels-

but i am a seed,

a seed that has been buried to grow.

& like a seed buried to grow, i will grow.

i will grow as He takes me from glory to glory, ever deeper-

even here, in new dirt.