Another year has come and gone again! Isn’t time a funny thing? One of the hardest things I find in grappling with time is just HOW FAST it can move. There have been moments in my life when I wished time would slow down to be able to enjoy precious moments with loved ones. Yet in others I’ve wished for nothing more than for time to speed up past the hardship, heartbreak, and difficulties into brighter days. In times of regret, it is easy to wish you could go back and change the past, and in times of anticipation, to just take a jump into the future. But none of us are time travelers (sorry science nerds, no one is travelling at the faster than the speed of light).
Time passes without ceasing, a constant and steady accumulation of new moments and experiences building upon previous moments that together form the story of our lives. Despite the visions in our mind replaying the past and dreaming of the future, all we really ever have is the present moment. The past is, well, the past. It is always gone from us. And the future is always yet to come. This moment, the here and the now, is all we ever have.
The Lord has made time an important theme in my first few weeks of 2019. Last week, my Pastor gave a sermon on time that allowed me to deepen my reflections and prayer on how I am using my own time. The time the Lord allots to each of us is SO precious. We are only here on this Earth for a short while. Yet, in every moment, there are an unlimited number of things we can be doing with our time, many of which, distract God’s intended purpose for our lives. Alone and without God, there is simply no way we can know how to effectively manage our time and choices. That is why its so important in each moment, to come into dependence of the Lord and walk (not run) with Him in His timing.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a natural runner (and I’m not talking about in the physical sense – the Lord just did not gift me with the lungs to support any running past the one mile mark). I mean, when I set my mind on something, I go after it running, full force, expending every ounce of my energy and doing whatever it takes to reach that goal. And when I’m at the halfway mark and I realize that my way isn’t so good and that I don’t have what it takes to finish the race on my own, I look back in humility and ask God to help me do what he wanted to help with all along. What I am learning, is that the Lord wants us to walk with him. He wants us to be present with Him because His presence is a blessing! He wants to direct our every step, and if we allow him to come into our lives in this way, he sustains us and gives us the energy we need to finish the race.
That is what Isaiah 40: 21-1 tells us:
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
For the last two weeks, I have taken part in a Daniel Fast with my church and have prayed with an intention of getting out of my own time and into God’s time and for clarity and direction of his plan for the year 2019. At the start of the new year, I felt a bit of discordance about going on the Race and leaving all of the new blessings God has recently brought into my life. One of the things that I prayed for in 2018 was for the Lord was to bring me into a community of believers that would support my journey of faith with Him. He did just that by bringing a whole group of blessed people into my life. New relationships were born, old ones were rekindled, people showed up in the most unexpected of ways and blessed me with sweet friendship, prayers, and encouragement. Thank you to each and every one of you for what you have done for me. I am so grateful for the community that the Lord is building in my life. I also feel SO blessed to have recently joined a amazing church called Healing Place which has certainly lived up to its name. What this church has done for me these past few months is beyond words; they have extended a kind of love to me that I didn’t know existed in others. I am so humbled and blessed to be a part of this community. I have developed such a love for this house already, for all of the amazing people there and for the pastors. In light of these new blessings at the start of this year, I felt the Lord telling me “I have something for you HERE in 2019. I am building something in you HERE in 2019.”
I knew that God had called me to go on the Race, but it now felt as if He was calling me to stay here instead for this new year. I asked God whether the June route was where he wanted me. I questioned whether switching to an August or October route would be better, but I didn’t feel that anything was really jumping out at me screaming “THIS IS THE WAY!” I had to stop and just admit that I had absolutely no clue what to do. I prayed for God’s peace over my life. That ultimately HIS will would be done and all would take place in HIS timing. I have come to believe that His timing certainly is perfect. This past week as I prayed over this situation and for direction from the Lord, Adventures in Mission released their routes for January 2020. And as soon as I read the route, I just knew. I knew this is was the one. This route had the exact countries that had been on my heart to serve in.
Though it is certainly going to take patience to wait almost a whole year to do this thing that I have been wanting to do for so long now, it is teaching me to WAIT on the Lord. To walk with Him in His timing. To fully enjoy and immerse in the right here and right now because that gift is so precious. It’s all we really ever have. What is to come will come in His trusted timing, but I would hate to miss out on the blessings He has for me right now.
I am sad to not be going on this journey with the June 2019 squad I have grown to love. Though we have only gotten to know each other through social media and group messenger, these people have been such a light and encouragement to me from the moment I decided to go on the Race. It is hard not to be continuing with them, but I am also so excited to watch them on their journey this coming June.
So heres to 2019. To letting go of the past, trusting the Lord’s promise for our future, and walking with Him graciously and humbly in each moment. And for patience. Sweet, sweet patience (I am my father’s daughter and I am certainly going to need my heavenly father for this one).
For all of those reading this, those I know and those I don’t know, I pray that 2019 will be a year that we can learn together to just walk with the Lord. To enjoy his presence and all of the blessings he has given us in the present moment. And that we would grow in greater dependence with him as we learn to WAIT on Him and to trust His timing and direction above all things.
Blessings to you.
Love,
SaVanna
