Lots of things are made with a specific purpose in mind, ya know? A pen is made for paper, a pan is made for cooking, a brush is made for untangling. Something for something. The purpose of dependence.
On the flip side, when it comes to human independence, I think the subject gets a little glorified. It has the “I am able,” strength persona. “I don’t need…” “I can do this on my own,” “I’ve got this.” Living out of what you can create and offer.
“I’ve got this.” How many times have I said this to myself over the years? I think of the free spirit Maria from Sound of Music when the Nuns are singing about what to do with her. “How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?” But how do we hold onto or do anything on our own really?
I returned from training camp a few days ago with the humbling reality of a new kind of dependence and a new view of what home will look like. A kind that is hard, that cracks you open, and sets your heart free to see and ask for what you really need. It’s hard to be dependent on others. To tell someone what you need, to ask for help. Home won’t be 4 walls. I think it will look more like a community that builds up and breaks down together.
Kind of like the tents we set up and broke down every day. The individual pieces that come with a tent are kinda useless on their own. The poles are the structure, but need a secure place to lock and snap. Once they are secured, the building on basic bones can take place. You can add walls, add an outer layer to shield rain, stake down the corners and have a home.
Just like the poles, when our footing is grounded, when we are locked in place, secured in all four corners, something can happen. The foundation on which we stand. Secured in Christ, able to stand, able to shield, able to provide rest.
One of my camp takeaways is that I can do lit-er-ally nothing. Over the years, I really have tried. I’ve tried to make things happen and work out on my own accord. Looking back I see myself trying and trying and trying to pin that cloud down, to catch that wave and hold that moonbeam. I saw a distant Father, thought I spoke to deaf ears and felt the need to do it on my own.
I was a part apart from Him. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Apart means there has to be two parts. Christ’s part is always there, He is never changing, all knowing, eternal forever and ever. I want my part to always be with Him, completely dependent.
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