As we come to an end to Nepal counting down the days until we leave for India I wanted to share a summary of my experiences and some expectations that I had that have been completely taken away and thrown back at me.
Nepal is such a spiritually dark place for a Christian to be because of all of the idols, temples, and people that don’t understand the wrong they are doing. It is truly heartbreaking to see all of it. There is a great deal of spiritual warfare that goes on here. And to be completely honest I had never truly experienced spiritual warfare until I came here. I mean of course there where times in which I doubted Christ and where I wasn’t living the way I should. It just really hits you when Christianity isn’t the predominant religion and it is actually illegal to talk about Christ when you can fully understand the depth in which the enemy is able to take a hold of a person and even a whole culture. But as the month went on my team was having a conversation and it was brought up by one of my teammates that we do the same thing at home in America. We make ourselves idols. It’s seems to be more of “how can I better myself“ rather than “how can I better the kingdom”. Which is how the term lukewarm Christianity became so popular. Because people would go to church on Sunday and then not pursue an actual relationship with Christ. They say that they are a Christian but they don’t truly know Christ. Now of course this is in no way me calling people out it is simply a hope that people will understand that Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship. You cannot be a Christian if you do not have an intimate relationship with Christ. Even if you have that relationship with Christ it can be easy to fall back into lukewarm Christianity through distractions. That’s how it was for me when I first came to Nepal.
Going from the slowness, quiet, lack of WiFi, distractions, and the consistent ministry to a very busy city with distractions and a different ministry it was hard to stay focused on the Lord. And often I failed to do that. I would choose things over the Lord because I figured I would get to it later. I didn’t make the Lord a priority and it hindered my relationship with him tremendously. It made all the time and effort that was put into that relationship on the race until then seem like it was crumbling and falling away. Which of course is never true. The Lord desperately wants a deep relationship with each and every one of us. He will chase us down and seek us out until we do the same for him.
I didnt realize any of this until I was in the hospital. I realized that I had been just going through the motions. And I’m on the mission field, I was actually very upset with myself because of how I wasn’t taking time out of my day to get in the word or even spend time with Christ. And in that moment of me just being overwhelmingly sick I just started to pray. I prayed and I prayed. And I got out my bible and read for so long I made it through the book of Luke, 1&2 Timothy. It was an amazing time and I just felt such a peace. And after that I started to stay more in the word and praying and I have slowly started to feel so much better.
Having that relationship with Christ is so important because of how he is able to work in and through you. The Lord is so faithful and he always provides.
