I’m not going to call myself Super Blackman or anything but to be honest with y’all, I didn’t think much was going to break me on the race before endeavoring on this LIFELONG GOT DANG JOURNEY! Man, I’m going to keep it 100 with y’all. The main things that were chipping away at me that started only about two months ago were:
- People staring into my soul.
- Ministry this month.
- Homesick (I won’t touch on this in this blog).
Y’all might be thinking, “well Rashad, what’d you expect being a chocolate man traveling across the world?” I’ll enlighten y’all what I expected before leaving The Land of The Free and The Home of the Brave. “It won’t be too bad. I grew up in a predominantly white school and community. I’ve dealt with people smiling in my face upon entering into the doors of a friends house but overhearing, “Tom, come here. Tell ‘those’ boys they aren’t allowed in our home.” We will call that hidden racism. And I’ve also had one serious encounter in a small town in the deep South where I was by myself and knew that if I didn’t get out of there, it wouldn’t be a pretty outcome to say the least. we will call that outwardly hatred racism. So I got the best of both racism worlds right? Right. That’s why I thought I was well prepared for this journey and you couldn’t tell my stubborn self otherwise. Well what tore me down after a while on this journey were all the “your not welcome here” glares that only I would catch. Or one encounter I had while walking to the local market when a group of boys after seeing me from a distance acting like they were monkeys running across the streets of Lehze, Albania. Little things like that would get to me when I didn’t keep my eyes fixed on Christ. And to be completely honest, my eyes weren’t fixed on Christ the first half of being here in Albania. I let my emotions get the best of me at times (I would stare back at people looking at them crazy or ask if they wanted to take a picture with a stern face) forgetting that this traveling across the world was once something I prayed for. We sometimes pray for the blessing forgetting that it always comes with a cost.
This month cost me a little bit:
We served at a farm that had pigs, lambs, and goats! I was cool with it all up until the first day of ministry after they handed me a shovel to get in those stanky pig pens and pick up their poop. One day I got so irritated and said to one of the pigs like he could really understand me, “YOU NASTY UGLY THING. ALL YOU DO IS MAKE NOISES, EAT, POOP, AND SLEEP!” Here I am picking up its poop and it wouldn’t move!! So ungrateful. Smh. I had to look at one of my teammates (Martha Sue) and tell her, “you can say that you’ve seen Rashad fully out of his comfort zone.” However, after getting constructive feedback from my boy Samuel that I should embrace being out of my comfort zone working on the farm, I quickly had a change of mindset. Instead of complaining internally, I turned on my music and started dancing while picking up the poop repeating in my head, “mind over matter. It don’t stank Shad!” By the end of our time at the farm, I was going straight in the pens like it was nothing!! I made up in my mind that I could either be upset that we had to pick up goat and pig poop every day or be joyful and keep my eyes fixed on Christ despite the circumstances. I chose the latter option. We literally have the choice to be joyful!! Oh and what was really out of my control was getting flea bites all over my dang body!!! I don’t know how those bugs managed to get under my skin. (get it…get under my skin..yeah? No? Okay.) Despite not enjoying ministry necessarily, I sure did have an epiphany from a quote in a book I’m currently reading (Miracle Morning), “how you do anything is how you do everything.” Whatever God puts in front of me, I need to steward it like it’s everything I’ve ever wanted because…it is. Every opportunity is preparing you for your future self and what God has for you. Even the little things like picking up poop. Am I going to be faithful over the minuscule or over look it because it’s not what I “think” is shaping me into where God is calling me to go and be? We may not have the power to have an infinite vision of the now and the future, but we do have the power to make the best out of the now. I may not have enjoyed ministry at the time but the lesson I took away from it was absolutely life changing.
Something else that contributed to this life changing perspective was our host George. He was gone for the majority of our time there due to being in Africa but when he was there for the 5 days, he let me have it. News got back to him that I wasn’t getting down and dirty like some of my other teammates and he told me in his UK old accent, “as a leader you have to lead from the front. You are the motor of the group. Shepherds back in the day lead from the front. Don’t be like these shepherds now a day that are on their four wheelers guiding their sheep. Man up and get work done.” After he said all of this, I looked him in his eyes and thanked him for his words. It ignited a side in me that I didn’t know I had. Hearing another man tell me to “man up” made me realize the importance of rising up to any circumstance that is in front of me. It stung a little bit…I lied. It stung a lot of bit but it came from a good place. Sometimes in life we don’t “feel” like doing things, but it’s not about how we feel it’s about who we are doing it for.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” -Colossians 3:17
This month taught me what it meant to press in not only physically, mentally, and emotionally but most importantly spiritually. The verse that I stood on this month was, “For those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint”-Isiah 40:31.
So my question to you all that are reading this is what has God placed in your life that you may be overlooking or dreading? It may be that you are sick of that one coworker but God is just seeing if you can love that person despite your annoyance and teaching you patience. Or it may be that you are ready to move on to the next season He has for you, and He is waiting to see if you steward what He has for you this season so you can be fully equipped and ready for what He has for you next season. Embrace the process. It’s what you put into the process that’s going to produce the outcome of the fruit you bear. Whether that fruit you bear is good or bad, it’s all based upon your efforts. Nurture it and give it all you have even if you don’t “feel” like it. Do it for God!!
God’s truly,
Chocolate Man
Y’all stay blessed and be great!!!
Much love.
Step stop: Serbia
