I’m in Spain. I’m living a short dream of mine (seeing pieces of Europe) and I am coming to the end of a bigger dream of mine (traveling the world doing missions bringing help to those in need), yet also realizing the bigger things that happened along the way (learning a lot more about myself, how I function, what I look like unhealthy vs healthy, who I want to be, my identity in Christ, and most importantly how empty I am without God). Something I have been pondering a lot lately—given I’ve had 150miles of walking with a clear head to spend time thinking and not avoiding myself—is image. Self image, others image of the self, our image we place on others, ones true image etc. It sounds deep but I’ve decided it’s just simple and we make it really complicated.
“What do I want to be” can be a really loaded question. I was once asked this in the middle of an existential crisis and it changed my world. I rebelled for a bit trying to find an answer I thought would be there, then came back to find out I was running away from the true answer because I didn’t think I was special enough to just stand on my own. I then re-changed my life and tried to become this better version of myself and what I thought to be acceptable. There wasn’t much bad about that me…except the fact that you can still hide behind good. If I was rebelling with no reason just because I didn’t want to be deemed boring, I wasn’t being myself. If I was pretending to be all good without dealing with my faults and moving forward, I also wasn’t being myself. But this year gave me the option to really dive into that question and find a much more simplified answer.
This world gives you the option to be consumed with image. You can get into social media and have your image liked and shared, you can go to church and have your image be about what the congregation has to say, you can go out and have your image be about whether that guy notices you, you can stay in and have your image critiqued by the one looking in the mirror. It’s so hard to escape a world that is wrapped around who you amount to be. This world says you’ve done nothing if you work hard at a job, but never leave your home town. It says you’re narcissistic and consumed with yourself if you push hard and “try and make it”, moving up/climbing a social or career ladder to success. It says you gave up on your dreams if you start a family early and settle down and it also says you’re being selfish when you take years to travel, work, or learn instead of planting right away. There are phrases like “you’re damned if you do you’re damned if you don’t” and “if you can’t beat em, join em”. It’s about pleasing something. Life on the outside is about validation. Being good enough. But for who? Your parents? They won’t always be there. Your friends? They change. Your job? It will end. Yourself? I don’t even see that as a good enough answer because, if you’re grading yourself, how do you know you’re being fair? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. How are we so consumed by image, who we are, what we will become, what we contribute, when there is no scale to rate it all on?
So where do we stand now: Image is essentially everything and nothing at all. I do think there is something good in all of this. It’s finding your identity in something strong (not changing over time) and then basing your image on that. Then when your identity is rooted, your image is literally a reflection of your inside out, and you begin to integrate your good and bad: accepting and working on the bad, and perfecting the good to become who you were made to be. I know this still sounds complicated and very introspective—but stick with me. I’m almost there.
Identity should be rooted in Christ. For some, this is a challenge (understandably) because at first glance what does that even mean and how do you tangibly do that? I’ve been trying to conquer this since it was first brought up in high school and I still fail often. I have to renew that sentiment in my mind daily. Basically, all this means is that your worth is unchanging. The Lord looked at the world saying it was good, but then adding humanity, it was very good (Genesis 1). The Lord sings and dances over His creation with gladness (Zephaniah 3:17). He loves them just the way they are and knows them wholly (Psalm 139). Only He gets glory for saving us from our sin, it’s not by works that we are included in Gods saving it’s only by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). This basically means there’s nothing we can do to gain good graces with God, because He gets the glory not us. It’s not about what you can do or what you can bring, it’s just about you accepting God and loving Him in return. Yes, we are to keep His commandments—but in order to keep anything we first have to understand the whole point: relationship. God just wants us to love Him the way He loves us. Yes, God is way complex, but if we just focus on that point: the King of all King’s, the creator of the universe, loves YOU…that is where your worth comes from. It doesn’t come from sin, because He cleansed you of that before you even changed (Romans 5:6). It doesn’t come from good deeds because all glory should be to God anyway not us. And it doesn’t come from anything in this world because literally everything is fleeting (Ecclesiastes). Your worth and identity is rooted in the love of Christ. That once given to you, and you devoted to Him in return, is available to you forever. It’s a beautiful relationship that then in turn makes your image change. Because when you realize whose you are, it creates who you are. When you’re a child of a king, you gotta be better than a bum. When you’re an heir, you work better for the good of the kingdom. When you have a responsibility to look after and help your brothers and sisters, you try a little harder to be kind and loving and to care more about them than yourself. But mostly, when you’re so coated in love that you don’t deserve, you don’t take it for granted. You ACT RIGHT and treat yourself right and expect others to treat you right. You know the future you can have so you “sacrifice” in the mean time to make tomorrow better. You trade foolishness for wisdom. You gain confidence AND humility. You allow God to refine you everyday. You don’t avoid the bad because you know you need to learn, heal, grow and allow the potter to finish His masterpiece as He intended, not to leave that dent in the side. You know you’ll never reach perfection but that is ok because you’re still coated in that same love; yet, you don’t slack off just because you have that love either. When your identity is rooted, you become rooted and you GROW.
Then image is no longer what you, the world, others, whatever thinks of you. It becomes the outward reflection of the God that dwells within. My image changes because I change. The question “who do I wanna be” becomes less complicated. I wanna be who I was made to be. I find that out by spending more time with my creator. He knows my purpose that’s why He made me. I communicate with Him. I learn with Him. And most of all I narrow it down to the fact that I am a reflection of Him. I used to basically scream “I just wanna be good” in my head all day. But now I know there is no standard to be held to, so that falls. Now I just wanna be kind, humble, generous, joyful, encouraging, thankful, and sure I could make a list. It seems long and like a lot to live up to, but it is a much easier feat knowing I was created to be such things. Try and fail and succeed, my image is to be incomparably me. To be a better me than I was yesterday. And to not care about what this image heavy culture says as long as I’m standing in truth.
I don’t know why God had me spinning on this topic today. But here I am, messy bun and all to tell you (as I also listen myself) that you’re loved, cherished, and worthy. No person, place, or thing can validate that in you like God will. Don’t be thrown by this world, stand strong in the image of Christ.
Gotta dig to grow. But don’t even just grow, FLOURISH. Go get watered in love.
