For the past 2 months, I worked with WinShape Camps for girls at Cohutta Springs. What an amazing job that was! The Lord’s presence there was nearly indescribable. I got to see the Lord change so many young lives and had the honor of being a vessel that He worked through. Many of my girls often questioned me as to how I knew so much about them that they didn’t tell me; genuinely, I would chalk it up to the Holy Spirit just saying what He needed to say through a woman who they would (hopefully) listen to. It was honestly the coolest job I’ve ever experienced and hope to return to that job sometime later in life.
However, that experience made me wrestle day in and day out with what I am about to do with my life. At WinShape, we commit to “disconnect to connect” where we have no cell phones or electronics of any kind except for a little over 24 hours on the weekend. By the time we have our phones back, we have errands to run, adventures to take, or sleeping and resting to catch up on anyway. So basically, besides a few updates here and there, and a few calls home, it was just me, my thoughts, and God the entire summer. In the quiet, I learned many things. I learned that the sadness I often feel going through life is attributed to missing my maker. [For background, sometimes I go into these moments of sadness where I lock myself away, get in my feelings, and/or am constantly connected to a screen. I get really sad about things for no reason and have no explanation.] Being in nature, free of distraction, I realized that often those feelings of sadness come from overexposure to the lies of this world and separation from the truth of the Lord.
This world likes to scream in our faces. It often wins us over because its hard to hear anything else when something is yelling at you. The Lord, on the other hand, is a gentleman. He goes out of His way to bring us to peace. He leaves the 99 to find the lost one. He is a gentle knock at the door, a breeze or a whisper. He doesn’t force us to love Him–or do anything for that matter–because real love isn’t forced. He is willing to pursue, woo, and win us over with His unconditional love and grace day after day. We often mistake this quiet loving nature for silence. This world is so full of noise that if we aren’t making time daily to meet Him, to allow him to take us away to green pastures, lead us by quiet waters, and ease our minds to the point that we can actually hear Him, we won’t be able to experience any refreshing moments.
It was evident that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way after spending a summer with high schoolers–a generation who literally feels trapped in technology. I had girls who mentioned they knew if they didn’t have social media they’d be happier, or if they didn’t have to appease people on the internet they might find their true identity. However, after a week with silence, friendship, and freedom, the number one question I received from my girls was, “how do I hear (from) God?”. My answer was always another question. “How much time do you spend with the Lord?”. That isn’t to say that all you have to do to be a “good christian” is to read your Bible, go to church, be in a group, blah blah blah. No, christianity isn’t about a checklist. However, the Bible says the Lord is our Shepherd, making us sheep. Jesus goes on to say, “My sheep listen to my voice. I know them and they follow me.” (John 10:27). So my question is simple, do you know the Shepherd’s voice?
For example, if I am in a store with my mom, but she is a few isles away, I know exactly where she is because of this little sniff cough she does. Something so quiet in a loud store makes my ears perk up in her direction. I learned that because of the amount of time I spend with my mom. However, when a friend I made at camp who I’d only known for a week called my name, I didn’t respond right away; when I did respond, I looked all around, not knowing where it was coming from, until I finally found the source of the voice.
Our relationship with God often reflects this. We get out what we put in. The Lord is always speaking; He withholds no good thing from those who follow Him. He loves us and wants to be with us so much so that, when we leave His side, He comes and chases us down. But if we don’t get to know the person who is literally dying to have a relationship with us, how will we ever hear when He speaks? If we know Him deeper and deeper, His voice will be easy to spot.
While away, I realized I had been in a season where I didn’t know God very well. He became an acquaintance because I had strayed away. I let the craziness of the world drown out His sweet voice. At Cohutta, I asked to start over. I wrote it down, I prayed, I even wrote a song about it. Basically, I just told God “I remember how it felt to worship and not remember what I sang because I was so deep in the presence; I remember what it felt like to be in constant prayer; I remember what it felt like to flee from temptation and draw near to you; I remember you Lord. I’m sorry I have to ask this, but will you start all over with me? I have shut you out because of pain from this world that you did not produce; I tried to do things on my own. But I can’t. So will you lead me, Lord I’ll follow. Will you speak, Lord I’ll listen. And will you show me to love the way you do, Lord I’m ready.”
It wasn’t a magical prayer. It wasn’t a glorious moment in tears. I actually felt embarrassed to come to the highest King and say, “I’ve been a brat and have been ignoring you”. Like who does that to a King, to their papa?
But God.
A gentleman as always, picked me up by my right hand and walked with me. Through the weeks of quiet, I heard Him again…and often. I saw Him in the butterflies, in the sunsets and the trees, in the water, in music, in words, and in people who loved me so deeply, even after hearing of past mistakes. He gifted me with lifelong friends, a renewed soul that longs for Him, and a passion to change a world–not because I just want to or because of the memories or adventure, but because I know how it feels to be without, to be alone, and to not know the Savior. Life is so much sweeter with Him. So when my girls asked, I asked them. Do you know His voice?
I challenge everyone to seek His voice and listen. He will calm your anxiety; He will quiet your stirring and give you confidence in the next step. Invite the Lord in because He will not barge. It isn’t a Jesus band-aid to your problems. But sometimes, just the comfort of a friend is all it takes to make it through. He doesn’t promise ease, but He promises to be there and lead us through it. Seek and ye shall find a loving Father.
Psalm 23
