In the middle of a storm, it’s hard to think of the good things. It’s hard to imagine life any other way than what you are currently experiencing. You shut down. You forget the things that bring you joy. You get caught up in the should haves, that you forget what could have changed. Your perspective is skewed. It’s hard to see a way out of it. You get frustrated easily. You may even yell at someone who has nothing to do with the way you are feeling. For me, that has been my life as of recently. If you haven’t read my past couple of blogs, head over to The Importance of Community: When Your Hands Are Tied Behind Your Back and True Healing: What Do You Do With Shattered Glass? I encourage you to take a moment and read them. I’ll be here when you get back 🙂
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WELCOME BACK! Thanks for taking a moment to read them and catch up on what I mean.
You see, for me it’s really easy to get caught up in the bad things that are happening. To only see it through the perspective of past hurts and wounds that I have. But while I was in the Philippines, I had a perspective change. I realized that I could sit in a room and yell at God for the things that were happening to me, or I could get out into the community and serve those who may be going through a hard time as well. I could choose to be a burden to a team who had no idea what was going on with me, or I could be a blessing and choose to not dwell on myself but rather how to love others.
I could have missed out on opportunities to love people. I could have missed out on friendships that were cultivated because of my vulnerability. And because of that, I would have missed out on so many things that brought me joy. I didn’t know it at the time, but I needed a temporary distraction for the Lord to be able to do His work in me.
There was one day that a lady in the kitchen made an announcement that a baby was about to be born. I had waited all month for this to happen! But, in the moment I chose to walk away from it. I chose to find warmer clothes at the local mall because we were about to leave for Argentina. When I got back, I went to the clinic and watched as someone else delivered the baby. I had to make a decision, be present or walk away again. But something in me told me to stay. (Thanks Holy Spirit!) Although I didn’t get to be there for the actual birth, I got to see it through pictures. (Thank you to Apple phones and live pictures!) And because of my passion for babies, I stayed there with the mom and watched both mom and baby sleep for a while. A consuming peace came over me as I laid there with the mom, and I knew what I wanted to do.
It’s customary for babies born at this clinic to get their footprints placed on the wall as you enter in the clinic. This, this is what I needed. So, I asked to give the baby a bath, and then do the footprints. I didn’t know it at the time, but this very moment gave me a new perspective. This new life that I held in my hands, was the very breath of new life that I needed. The care that you give a newborn is gentle, tender-loving, and more unique than any other love. That is how the Father loves me, even in the moments that I don’t feel it. He wraps me up in the comfort of His arms, and He speaks life over me.
I didn’t realize it until almost a month later, but that very moment jump-started my heart again. I began to open up a little more about what was going on. I remember one morning in particular, the day before we left the Philippines, I had an opportunity to go to the elementary school and read books to the kids. I almost bailed at the last moment, but part of me didn’t want to let one of my team members down who said it would be a lot of fun. So I went to the school and read books to the first grade class. One by one kids would come in and sit down with one of us. They would pick their book and we would read it to them. I didn’t know it then, but I absolutely loved this moment. The joy and love that I had, prior to each wave storm hitting me, returned because I was no longer focused on what I was going through, but rather loving someone else. A team mate even made a comment about how alive I looked and how they had never seen me so happy.
I know that I’ve always struggled with perspective, and sometimes it gets the best of me. But I also know that sometimes the best way to get out of a funk is to go out and serve someone else. Even when it’s hard, or you don’t want to do it, those are especially the times that we need to get out and get new perspective.
I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in our world, to think that we have it bad. But really, if we are being honest, our lives aren’t as bad as we make them out to be. Even on our worst days, we still have things to be thankful for. I think that has been what has changed the most for me while being on the race, knowing that I really don’t have it as bad as I think. I’ve lived with families who have nothing, and I’ve been in a family that has everything. The homes that I have felt the most love in and the most alive have been homes that have almost nothing. There is something about simplicity that really makes my heart feel the most alive. But that’s a topic for another day!
Anyways, all of this to say, even in the midst of our storms, there is always something to be thankful for. There is always something that can bring new life and hope back into your heart. For me, it was an actual new life, but in whatever capacity that is for you, FIND IT.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7
