If the title didn’t give it away, I am in utter shock! It could be from the temperatures I endured at training camp this month, or from being in such a tight community and then having to leave my new friends, or possibly because of other circumstances. Training camp was this past week from October 15-26, and needless to say, it was remarkably stretching and overwhelming all at the same time! From FREEZING COLD bucket showers, to learning more about God and what the World Race will look like this next year, to sleeping outside in a tent in 40 degree weather and raining, I have so many things to process through. But one thing that I learned while at training camp is that even in my brokenness, God is still faithful.
I AM SO HAPPY/EXCITED/THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE HIT MY SECOND DEADLINE 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCED!!
And that only happened due to each and every one of you who have prayed for me, donated towards this mission, came along side me, or who have even accepted a bookmark from me. Because of your faithfulness, I can focus more on the mission God has shown me while at training camp.
You may be asking yourself, “What has God been revealing to you, Morgan?”, and let me just get down to being vulnerable with you a little bit. I’m on staff at Compass Church in the Children’s Ministry and teach a beautiful class of 2nd and 3rd graders. I look forward to being in the presence of kiddos who want to learn more about Jesus, but who also love being around me. On any given Sunday, I can have anywhere between 4 to 10 or 12 kiddos in my classroom. That may not sound like a lot to handle, but when you invest in each and every one of them every week, it can get exhausting and overwhelming. While I was at training camp, the Lord revealed to me that all the energy I use to pour out to kiddos is not equivalent to the amount that I pour into myself. It was most evident when the Lord began to speak through visions.
The first vision was one of a girl in a dark room in cradle position crying. The girl was alone, and the Lord was trying to tell her to accept His love. And when the person told me this, I couldn’t think of the lie that was making the vision real. But they continued and told me that the Lord knows that I have been listening to the lies of the enemy and that He wants to heal me from those lies. But what was so hard for me to understand is that I know in my head that God loves me, but just about 18 inches south of my head knowledge is my soul knowledge. And while my brain 100% knows that God loves me and calls me His, my soul is not on the same page. My soul has a hard time accepting that someone UNCONDITIONALLY loves me whether I’m good or bad in the eyes of society. It’s hard to know that the creator of the universe wants to love me when I don’t even find the time to spend with him. And it broke my heart, just as much as it breaks His heart.
The second vision was one very similar to that of Peter and Jesus, in Matthew 14:22-33. Jesus walks up to me while I am in a boat alone, and he reaches His hand out while asking me to, “Follow him.” But in the vision I am hesitant. And it didn’t quite make sense until the next day when someone comes to me with another word from God.
The third vision was from one of my squad leaders, who came up to me during worship and began to tell me how the Holy Spirit was acknowledging that I have a spirit of condemnation. I naturally laughed, but then began to cry because it finally hit me, I am my own worst critic. I cried out to the Lord, “Take away these harsh words of condemnation and replace them with your loving and kind words!” But nothing was happening, or so I thought.
The fourth vision I had was one of the Lord coming up to this hole in the ground. Not a small hole, but rather one that could fit a small car in it. Inside the hole was me, and the Lord was reaching down to pull me out of this hole. And as He pulled me out, we began to walk, like a child does with a parent.
The fifth vision, while crying out to God, was one of the Father coming over to me and covering me with this white cloak. It reminded me that the Lord wants to cover me in His righteousness and protect me from the lies and arrows of the enemy.
The sixth vision was a reminder of something I had read a couple years back from William Booth, (you can read the story as well, attached here) 
But if I’m being honest, I didn’t really know where I currently was standing. Am I on the rock, or the dock area? Because I know that I am about to be back in the water! But as I sat there and wondered why I was reminded of this, a girl from my squad asked if I was okay. After a long conversation about what I had been going through, she prayed for me and another girl came and prayed for me as well. But once again, the Lord gave her a vision and word for me.
The seventh vision was one of me being in a forest with tall trees. It was not dark or scary, but rather bright and beautiful. There was a path that was so straight right down the middle of this forest and at the end was a light with Jesus next to it. But as she looked around, I was also on the path and Jesus was next to me as well. I began to weep because the Lord was answering my prayers without giving me actual words. He knows our inner most minute desires because I love being spoken to in pictures rather than words!
At this time when I felt like I didn’t know what to do, I had an entire community of women and men who surrounded me and prayed for me. Even though I felt like all hope was lost, the Lord never stopped fighting for me. And He desires that very same thing with you! Although I may not know exactly what all of these visions and words mean, I am starting to understand the love of the Father, and how much He desires me to be in relation with Him. I also realized that while I spend a lot of my time with other people, the Lord wants me to start spending more time with Him.
So if you guys can continue to pray for me, that my desire to spend time with the Lord would increase, as well as my soul knowledge about Christ. The attacks of the enemy have definitely been more brutal since recent, so continue to pray for peace and joy in all circumstances <3 Love you guys!
