After month one in Mahapleu, Côte d’Ivoire, our team met up with the rest of our squad in Abidjan to travel together to the border. We traveled on a bus for about 10 hours to Elmina, Ghana where we stayed for debrief. We came together as a squad and our leaders and coaches from the US. It was such an encouraging time to spend four days or so being filled by the words the Lord brought them and to catch up with squad mates from other teams.
Entering debrief, I was ready for time and personal space. What I was challenged with was being able to have quiet time and sit in God’s presence in the midst of noise and people. I asked the Lord in this time to hold me in His arms, for rest in Him, to be filled with His love, and for peace in the unknown and all the questions.
So many new experiences this past month. My eyes continuing to be opened. Spiritual warfare. Deliverance. Healings. Preaching. Door to door evangelism. God’s presence in the midst of some of the scariest times where fear was removed and replaced by His love and peace. Changing my mind from doing to being. Choosing the path of God’s love and not finding who I am in status/success/failure. Holy Spirit. Spiritual gifts. Hearing the Lord’s voice. In Jesus name, declarations. I belong to you. Abba Father.
Abba, thank you for the ocean. In the midst of all the processing and seeking rest, you placed us in a beautiful place surrounded by your mighty waters- waters that remind me of your power, your love that overflows, your presence in the wind, your steadiness in the rocks. You are near and here.
By the waters, the Lord spoke to me personally. He said “I want to fill your abandonment with my abundance”. As I continue to step into new paths and new experiences, He is here. As I choose to leave behind identity in status, achievements, and abilities, I choose to be found solely in Him. To be His daughter choosing to love God and love others with her whole heart. To be so filled by Him that love and grace pour from all of me. I desire to be characterized by gratitude and generosity – words I want to live into this year.
As I continued to seek rest and asked questions at debrief, I didn’t have to feel confused and inadequate. I could release chains to judgment and fear of man. I was free to explore and be released to ask questions without the need for answers. I didn’t have to understand new topics fully to believe they were real. I could seek understanding and stories from those around me and go to the Lord with what I gathered. I could choose to take off the coat weighing me down to be whoever everyone else needs or wants me to be. I can be Madison Riley, a child of God. Period.
During one of the last times together in reflection, I was sitting along a wall in the presence of the Lord. At one point, I was side tackled by one of my leaders into a big hug – it was awesome and exactly what I needed. She shared Jesus wants to show me a new side of Himself- as she spoke, the Lord led me to exactly what side that is- Jesus is fun. He enjoys fun and laughter! He wants to go on adventures with me and share His joy every day. Through this conversation, I released the lie that I had been believing that to be spiritual is to be serious.
As I continued to sit with the Lord, I felt Him whisper to me to jump in the pool. To not worry about my clothes getting wet or who was watching or having to do it alone. He asked me to jump in with Him. My flesh took a few minutes to think, considering who I could ask to jump in with me. Then, I felt the Lord remind me I’m not doing it alone, I have Him. So, I jumped in the pool! Not once, not twice, but three times! After each time, I felt like I was to do it again, adventuring with the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I choose to believe and trust each part of the trinity. To trust in the midst of unknown or questions and step forward with faith.
