i feel like something taught in a lot of churches is that the God of the old testament is the God of hell, fire & brimstones while the God of the new testament is the God of love. oh, how wrong & naïve i was to believe this.
in costa rica we were given a list of truths that define God’s character. in other words, who does God say that he is? as i was reading the list & trying to really meditate on it, the truth “self-existent” kept sticking out to me. on our list it read, “God has no origin, source, cause, starting point or beginning. he is & always has been eternal & unchangeable in his word as well as his nature” & it referenced exodus 3:14 as its source for this truth. i then took some time to read through exodus 3 because to be honest, i had no idea what story it was referencing. for those who like me are not sure what exodus 3 says, i’ll briefly summarize what it now means to me.
exodus 3 is the story of Moses & the burning bush. God is telling Moses to go back to egypt & talk to the israelites & pharaoh. Moses asks who shall i say sent me & God replies, “i am who i am. i am has sent you. the Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of abraham, the God of isaac, & the God of jacob, has sent me to you. this is my name forever & thus i am to be remembered through all generations.” i am is enough of an explanation for who God is. he is everything. he is exactly who he says he is. he is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow. this means that the God of power & might of the old testament is standing beside me today. this means that the God of love & mercy who died on the cross is standing beside me today. how this works out is a beautiful mystery, but i am beginning to walk in the power & knowledge that the God of all ages is currently sitting next to me at the starbucks i’m typing this out at.
since reading this passage, i backed up in scripture & started in genesis. i have decided to read through the old testament searching for new clues & revelations about who God says he is because while yes, he is the great sacrifice that was sent to love me & have mercy on me, he is also so much more than that. i now look forward to reading the bible each day because it’s like a treasure hunt. which attribute will God reveal to me today? so far, i have seen him as El Shaddai, YHWH, creator, protector, my strength & song, holy, ruler, healer, provider, & constant.
one very real way this new found knowledge has played out in my life is by trying to rely on God for everything. if it’s true that he is & always has been eternal & unchangeable in his word & nature, then why do i feel like i have to do it all on my own?
first, i have completely turned my faith in fundraising over to him & have been blown away at the amount of donations that have poured in. not counting my monthly supporters, i had not received a new donation since may. i realized i had stopped asking for God’s provision & had begun to plan myself how i would get the rest of the money. once i sat down & prayed for the remaining $2,876.64, God poured in $2,103 & counting within the next week. i am now proud to say that as this exact moment, i only have $773.64 left to raise. praise God!!
second, our team got off the bus in david, panama homeless with no place or plan. we had 24 hours until we could check into our hostel in panama city, which was 8 hours away by bus. in this moment, our team gathered together, prayed for direction or provision. as we regrouped to see what the Lord had revealed to each of us, we were all on the same page: buy an overnight bus ticket to panama city now & figure out the rest later. so, kelsey, hannah, & i ventured off to find the bus ticket booth to see if we could get 7 tickets. once we found the bus to panama city (on the complete opposite side of the bus station), the driver said this is the last bus tonight & it leaves in 10 minutes. oh, & it only has 7 seats left. as the three of us sprinted back across the station to the tell our group & collect our bags, i couldn’t help but laugh. God has funny ways of showing up & providing exactly what you need. long story short, we ran through the station looking like fools with 60 pounds of gear on our backs, caught the bus, made it to panama city at 2am, slept in the bus station, hung out in starbucks & got wifi, then checked into our hostel, slept for what seemed like a day & a half & then met our host. all good now! thanks God!!
if you’ve made it this far, here are some specific prayer requests you can join me in praying for:
short term prayers:
– the remaining $773.64 to come in. a big prayer for our entire squad is to be fully funded by spain, meaning 21 more days
– boldness & the words to say as we begin to join Cru & evangelize on college campuses across panama city
– for discipline to pour over our team as we find ourselves with a lot of free time & are trying to set goals such eat healthier, spend more time in the word & be active
long term/impossible prayers:
– to trek thailand & malaysia
– for ministry in nepal to include hiking to the basecamp on everest to share the gospel with hikers
– for my team’s parents to be able to come to PVT (the week in india where parents are invited to join the squad on the field)
as always, thanks for reading!
madeleine
