fear- something that has always stopped me from going after the things i want. rejection- a word that i have always been afraid of, a word i always ran away from.
i have been struggling lately with the fact that i will be leaving my normal life, my friends, my family, my warm shower, and my cozy bed. i have fear that when i return home all of my friends will no longer be my friends. it’s crazy things to worry about really in the big picture of things.
i also know that the new life i will be living is going to change me forever, i know that i am going to have my heart broken a hundred times– but it will all be for Jesus.
many of you have been supporting me, but there are others that are so quick to judge the race. it’s easy to get caught up in all of the bad things being said and i have been praying over that. it breaks my heart when things are said because the race is something i have been passionate about since the beginning. i have put my whole heart and trust into this and into the Lord, and i am listening to Him and walking where He is leading.
the country every single person i have talked to is afraid of: Cambodia. i know that cambodia is one of the worst countries for human trafficking, but i also know that there are women and children in that country that need to be taken out of that kind of brokenness and shown who Jesus is. i am not afraid to dive into the depths of that country. i know that whatever lies ahead, Jesus will be there waiting for me.
Jesus is holding me. He knows my future. He has a plan for me. the race is something that seems so big, but my ultimate goal is to make myself so small in all of this, so that i can make Jesus so big.
Jesus has called me to love His children as He has loved me. i’ve been realizing that i was rescued to be the rescuer. thank you, Jesus, for opening my heart to a world of possibilities. break my heart for what breaks Yours.
this life is so crazy and i can’t wait to see where the race takes me. i leave for training camp next month to meet my new fam and build relationships with them before i serve alongside them for 9 months. please keep my team and i in your prayers as we prepare for the months going forward.
