I could sit here for hours trying think of words worthy enough to describe the women I befriended last month and just how beautiful my time with them really was.
This month was by far my hardest goodbye.
I often found myself tearing up at the most random times , thinking “what the heck is wrong with me?”
I never thought chopping vegetables could bring me to tears …
It’s weird because these particular emotions has not happened yet on the race.
Even writing this I am trying to refrain myself from crying at this coffee shop , still thinking why does the memories of the beautiful faces I encounter still makes me want to bust out in tears ?
You know the expression , “there’s no place like home ?” Well while that may be true because I love our farm and missing my dog Taz and pig pixie , I will say that you can find a little bit of home in every place you go.
And maybe that’s why this month was so special to me.
Because it felt so much like home.
Working on the farm, digging up cassava in the fields with the women, chopping vegetables, baking , the cornfields, the peacefulness , being in the middle of nowhere – I felt so at home.
Going into month 7 I was drained , emotionally and spiritually .
But the Lord spoke peace and rest over me in regards to month 7 and as always , His promises come through.
This month was home for me.
These women inspired me.
I had to remind myself numerous times during the day that the women I am encountering are also girls.
But even then , acknowledge that I can learn so much from them.
Their children brought me so much joy.
Seeing them with their babies, holding their little ones, carrying them on their backs, breastfeeding them, nurturing them, bonding with them, seeing love cultivate firsthand in front of my eyes … It was this month that the Lord made me realize that I do desire to be a mother.
(I know you’re happy to hear that mom).
I think I also loved just living with them.
It was a natural feeling of home and a love so organic that I know it was all Jesus.
Here are some things I miss :
- I miss hearing them try to copy my voice and the way I say things.
- I miss hearing their voices when they sing- it’s so beautiful.
- I miss hearing the kiddos say “teachaa,” when they see me.
- I miss seeing my girls in the kitchen everyday.
- I miss my hut – literally cried seeing it empty the morning I left.
- I miss their laughs (man I love hearing them laugh).
It only took me 3 weeks to completely fall in love with this place and befriend women who have been abused and hurt , and it wasn’t me – it was all Jesus.
Don’t tell me you can‘t build a friendship in less than 3 weeks and don’t tell me that you can’t have something special with someone who you can barely communicate with.
Before this race I would’ve said no way , but this is something special , truly a God thing.
I’ll never forget walking with M to pick cabbage and little E running to me , yelling “teacher!” Him just smiling and I sweep him up into my arms and his mother G just smiling. When I first arrived this kid ran away from me , now I’m about to leave and he finally has warmed up to me.
I’ll never forget after we had spent all day in town , and when we got home , G ran to me , smiling , saying “I miss you!”
I’ll never forget little D , walking over to our huts to play with us, him picking flowers to give to me and Maci , seeing Maci love him so well as if he was her own.
I’ll never forget our worship nights , dancing with them, laughing , attempting to play the drums, teaching them the church clap.
I’ll also never forget the times I sat down in worship , singing with the women, a baby or 3 trying to sit on my lap , me trying to make room for them all and hold them all, and I stopped singing just for a moment – stopped to take it all in – the women surrounding me , who are actually girls, robbed of their childhood , but they are indeed strong , brave, absolutely beautiful ladies – and I’ll never forget what it felt like to be in their presence.
I’ll never forget M showing me her garden for the first time.
I’ll never forget the hours I spent sitting with them, laughing with them, them forgetting I don’t speak their language and talk to me as if I understood. Haha
I’ll never forget L saying to me , “when you leave , I will cry.”
I’ll never forget little T , always coming to me during worship , wanting to sit my lap, her mother saying to me , “she’s been asking for you today , she loves you.”
I’ll never forget walking around our last morning , trying to say goodbye to all the girls , putting off saying goodbye to my
Girls in the kitchen who I got to know very well.
And so ,
I’ll never forget our goodbye, as the van began to pull out of the drive , and my first friends M , P and O following the van, waving us off saying goodbye.
O’s eyes filled with tears.
Driving down the long dirt road back into town, Shondra holding my hand , me finally letting the tears release and allow myself to cry and feel my heart ache .
They want me to come back.
Even if I do , my friends there will have already graduated from the program and either go back home to their village or start a new life.
I’ll probably never see them again.
At least not in this life.
But I’ve left a part of my heart in many places this year and now I can add Uganda to that list.
I made a video about our month.
It’s sweet , funny and explains a lot of what we did in ministry as we lived with these women and how we passed time in the village.
Hope you check it out.
