Wow how have I not posted a blog in 2 weeks? I’m so sorry for my lack of keeping everyone updated for the month of January. It was a busy & crazy month!!!
Our ministry, City of Refuge kept us on our toes!! We were involved with a men’s and women’s recovery program, homeless ministry, VBS for children and teenagers, worship throughout the week in 3 different services, evangelizing the streets that have many people who are caught up in drug addiction, alcoholism, and extreme poverty, a community called Manantiales where the children are born into extreme situations we will never understand, speaking at a public high school about the importance of our words, identity, and prevention of Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, and another community called Buenos Aires. The Lord was faithful in every. single. one. of those ministries. And if I shared every testimony about what the Lord did I would have to write 100 blogs. Because he did do that much work!!
The story I would like to share with you is my first night when I went to the street that changed the trajectory of how I live my life for Jesus.
January 24
I’ll never be the same.
Last night was the roughest night for me so far. I can’t even put into words what I saw.
We gathered up a group of about 20 of us, a few translators, and some staff members from the foundation we are partnering with this month and headed to a place called Agua Panella. We prayed before we left and asked God to open our hearts, the hearts of the people we would be ministering to, and to give us the words to speak. We were also told about the extreme drug use, poverty, and people everywhere so be alert of your surroundings and don’t go anywhere alone without a Colombian. And the biggest one, when it’s time to go.. we go. No matter where you are in your conversation we have to trust the Holy Spirit will continue to water the seeds that were planted.
There are many reasons we go to this place.
- To bring the light to a very dark place
- The foundation wants people to know about them so they’ll maybe one day they’ll come and transform their life.
- We pass out a drink called Agua Panella and a roll of bread until it’s all gone.
As we approached the scene, I was not and could not be prepared for what my eyes were seeing. The street was so full of people no cars pass through. People everywhere doing drugs on top of drugs, hallucinating and talking into an object thinking they were holding a conversation with someone. Huffing glue out of a black plastic bag. Stepping over people who were laying in the road. Staring off into space as you’re talking to them. Completely out of their mind.
We all gathered in a circle to pray over our time there, and before I knew it I saw small groups of people dive head first into the waters to share the love those people so desperately needed. Usually I get in a group and start going up to people. But this time was different, I felt so overwhelmed. And the questions of “Where do I even begin?” and “What would I say to them?” were going through my mind. I walked over to the bucket of drink we had and my squadmate, Emilie B. grabbed the bags of rolls to pass out. I was getting the cups ready for Simon who was pouring the drink, a task I didn’t really need to use my eyes for. And as I was getting them ready, I realized what the Lord wanted me to do with my eyes. I was positioned perfectly and was looking into the eyes of the people who were desperately waiting in line. Some this is all the food they would have in days, maybe even weeks. So I made sure to make eye contact with every single person I said, “Hola” to. Even to the guy who had their head down so far I had to literally crouch down almost on my knees to make sure our eyes met. I could see a cloud of shame over this person and even though I was only in his presence for a moment, I wanted him to know that he was seen.
As time went on, I found myself overwhelmed with emotions I can’t even describe. And then I was asking God all the questions, “Where are you in this? Why is this happening? How long Lord must they wait to know you?” I began weeping because there was literally nothing I could do but pray.
Pray as they were taking the bread and saying to all of us, Dios Te Bendiga which means God Bless You in Spanish.
Pray as they were taking the bread.
Pray as they were huffing whatever drug or glue in that bag.
Pray as they’re lighting up a crack pipe.
Pray as they’re taking another shot of alcohol.
Pray as I see someone urinating because they’re too gone to know where the closest bathroom is.
Pray as I smell marijuana fill the air mixed with a man who has a popcorn stand 15 feet away.
Pray as I see a man with one leg dragging himself across the road to get to wherever he’s going.
Pray for the man who got stabbed in the eye just before we arrived.
Pray as the woman who kept trying to get more bread and cutting the line everyone has been waiting in so patiently, but also extending grace and not letting it bother us.
Pray for the teenager I saw who was so tiny and had scraps for clothes and also had the same exact attitude I once did. And my heart instantly broke for the experiences I just knew she has been through & for the future I know she’s capable of having.
Pray for the darkness that filled the air and the heaviness I’ll never be able to explain.
Pray for the team and that their seeds they planted would grow and grow and grow into something beautiful only God can do.
Y’all these are REAL life situations that I witnessed with my own two eyes and for the life of me, I didn’t want it to be real. These are REAL people who God still loves despite their actions. And he wants them so bad.
I was frustrated when I felt the stacks of cups getting low wondering why we only brought one bucket of drink. And I knew that some people who were waiting in line, weren’t going to get either bread or drink. That hurt and broke me. Sooner than later, our group got together to head back to the foundation. As we were walking back to the bus I felt physically sick and I wept the entire ride back wondering if I’ll see anything like that again. We returned to the foundation and I asked our Squad Mentor (who is amazing shoutout Teresa) for prayer and she encouraged me to go to bed listening to worship music and I was able to get the best sleep I had all month. I woke up with no stomach ache but still with the burden in my soul that I’ll never be the same again after that night.
