I don’t know where I am going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring. -David Bowie
Wow! I cannot believe I am back on US soil. These past 11 months have been insane, life giving, game changing and unexpected. Towards the end of the Race I would day dream about food in the States, seeing my friends, having a comfy bed all to myself and introverting. Funny, things that you dream about when you finally get them aren’t as satisfying as you thought they would be. Being back in the States, I have had some anxiety whether it was while driving a car, walking in a grocery store or being inside a walk-in closet (all this space just for my clothes, WHAT?). It’s funny what you think of or dream of and what your reality really is.
Let’s just say readjustment hasn’t been a walk in the park. But it hasn’t been awful either. It’s just been well- LIFE.
I quickly hit reality as I had turned down a teaching job while being on the race. It was my dream job, I would teach 1st grade at the school I had previously taught at. However, in my spirit I knew I was suppose to go back out and lead a group for World Race. The planner in me was like NOOOO, take the teaching job. This would have been the responsible thing to do. Spoiler alert- I didn’t end up taking it.
Reality hit as I was back in the States and pretty much dropped back into life. I no longer had authority or leadership over me, I had all the time in the world, I wasnt with people constantly and I had wifi and tv easily accessible by just a click of a button.
I know people say that when you get back from the Race it could seem as if you were in a dream. That is exactly what it felt like, an eleven month dream, except my bank account looked WAY smaller. Especially since I had just gotten back from traveling and not having a job for a year.
I started to panic and decided to go crazy applying for jobs and looking into places to live. My dream was to be an administrator I had applied for administration positions for two years prior to the Race. I would go in for interviews and wasn’t selected. I felt defeated. Little did I know that it was on purpose if I would have been offered an administrative position I more than likely would not have gone on the Race. I would not have met some of the most amazing people, learned about myself, grown in community and conflict and had redemption in a lot of areas in my life.
Fast forward, this past week I was offered a dean position. Believe me I was up at night, freaking out about whether I should take it or not. This is what I had been longing for this is what I had dreamed of. This is what success looks like to me. It’s funny going on an eleven month trip I had no idea that my life would change as much as it has and continue to change being back home. After praying about it and not having it settle right in my spirit, I declined the position. Many may call me crazy some may think it’s irresponsible but all I know is that I want to chase after what the Lord desires for me.
After giving up worldly things this past year in order to live this dream that I had no idea was in my heart. I have never felt so alive before. So I am proclaiming that this will be a year of the unexpected, life giving and full of purpose! Thank you for being apart of my life and for listening to my heart this past year. You are amazing! I cannot wait to see what God does in your life 🙂
