Acceptance

Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.
-Wes Angelozzi

God has been speaking to me about why I do specific things, not just here on the race but throughout my life. I have always done things to gain acceptance and approval of others. I want people to like me. If they liked me then I would okay with myself.

I would say things, wear things and do certain things to gain people’s approval.
Throughout my life I have constantly worked out at a gym for multiple days during the week (I’m kinda obsessed with the gym), I try to watch what I eat, I buy clothes that I know I would be complimented on, I play peacemaker to make myself and others feel better around me (to an extreme), I often neglect my own needs in order to make sure everyone else is okay.

Throughout this journey thus far, I have learned even when you try to make everyone happy- you can’t it’s impossible and it’s not living life authentically. People won’t know who you really are. You will always change to the situation, to the specific people and culture. Believe me, it gets overwhelming.

As I sit here in the mission house in Romania I believe that I am placed on Earth for such a time as now, with the specific passions, desires and giftings to positively impact the world. How exactly? I’m not sure, but as I keep reflecting, I believe I will get to understand myself a little bit more and more each day. In the end hopefully, I will gain the understanding of how I can make a positive impact, while authentically being myself.

I hesitantly typed up this blog, nervous to share my personal thoughts with the world but as I shed light on the struggle of acceptance maybe, just maybe it will resonate with someone who needs to hear it.

I will make this promise that I am going to embrace myself, try to love myself and accept myself for who I am. I may fall back into doing things in order to be accepted every now and then but I am going to try my darnedest to love myself exactly as God has created me.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

 

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