It was day 2 of training camp. We were in the training center to worship. Oh, how I just LOOOVE to worship. Its like my personal time away from everything. Its how I draw close to my Papa.
The words sinking deep into my soul. Chewing on them verse by verse. Lifting my hands in total surrender.
I walk towards the back of the room because I simply couldn’t stand anymore – so overwhelmed and moved by the words of the song “Since Your Love” by United Pursuit. Specifically the two verses saying,
“I was made by You
I was made for You
I am unfulfilled without full communion
In You, is all I need
You’re my breath, you’re my life, You’re my everything”
I had never heard this song before and it wrecked my heart.
Do you understand those words? Take a minute and reread that, slower and really gnaw on those words. Even better, go take a listen to it.
He is the Creator of ALL, including you, all of you.
We were literally made FOR Him. That’s why nothing of this world pleases.
I sat down on the floor and began to write in my journal. I can’t even see what is being written because I am weeping and my eyes are too cloudy to see anything. I get finished writing and just cry out to my Papa to hold me, surround me, squeeze me and keep me in His presence. So I sit there, criss cross applesauce with my elbows on my knees and my head resting in my hands, eyes closed hard and not able to hold back tears because I was in the presence of my Papa. Never had I ever been in such peace and joy. Overwhelmed with joy, in the best possible way. I never wanted that moment to end.
Then (if I remember correctly) Molly Fae bent down next to me and said “He wants you to know He is so proud of you”.
*cue tears*
How did she know that I have been struggling with wondering those exact words?? BECAUSE MY PAPA LOVES ME SO DANG MUCH!
Then Chris, one of our squad coaches, leans down and prays over me and says I am pursued, I am loved, and I am enough.
*cue more tears*
How did he know that I don’t believe any of those things about myself to reign true?? BECAUSE MY PAPA LOVES ME SO DANG MUCH!
Then here comes Julie, sitting down right next to me and not saying a word, just pulls me into a real good hug and doesn’t let go. It felt like an hour had past before we looked at each other, smiled so big and hugged again. If you know me, I am not a physical touch person. But in that moment, all I wanted was to be held. And my Papa did!!!!!!!!
It’s like my Papa reached out and just barely touched my heart and out came tears, joy, love and hugs. I had never felt this kind of love before. This was the love I was meant for. In Him, is everything I could ever need.
xo,
Kylie
