I know I post a lot of the good and beautiful things happening in Cambodia, but I wanted to share something that was hard and not so great. So heres a short story of how Jesus broke my heart.
Night Out On the Town
Recently I’ve been asking Jesus to break my heart for what breaks His, and one night in Siem Reap He did just that. I experienced heart break unlike ever before. Sarah and I wanted to go to the night market, which the markets here aren’t like the markets in the States, you never know what you’ll see, smell, or experience.
Our night started off great, some gelato, Mexican food, and beautiful street lights, later on we wanted to experience the night market. We began to walk towards a bridge. 1st we walked by a little boy who had a birth defect, something I’ve never seen before other then on TV. I felt my heart drop, I was at loss of words, I grabbed Sarah’s arm for her to look, when she turned around she said “Thats not real, thats a robot, no it can’t be real” she began to tear up and we continued to walk. 2nd we passed by a homeless man, with no legs, singing and begging for money. Now we are in the middle of the bridge and we pass a small boy probably 2 years young. Sitting down with a basket in his lap… I couldn’t do it anymore, I looked at Sarah and she knew exactly what I was thinking. We couldn’t walk any further, we turned around and walked off the bridge.
In situations like this I was lost, Do I give them money? Do I walk away? Do I talk to them?
Sarah and I didn’t have words, we looked at each other without words, we had no idea what to do, we had so many emotions. There was a bench near the bridge that we sat on and just began to pray.
I pulled out some of the Riel I had(I told myself that this is Gods money not mine, whatever its used for is not for me to worry about, I just have to be obedient) we walked over to the small boy in the stroller, and began to talk to his mom, language was a barrier but love wasn’t,we loved and showed that they were a normal humans rather then walking by like everyone else did, we did just as Jesus would have. I know that this mom brings her 7 year old son to the market every night, feeds him a bottle, rattles a toy over his head to keep him entertained, and begs for money, this is their life. I don’t know what the money is going to go for, but thats not for me to worry about, Its Gods money, Gods child. I know that Gods heart breaks for this small child and Jesus broke my heart for him. Jesus broke my heart for the little boy begging for money, his parents send him out every night to go beg for money and probably can’t come home until he’s gotten a certain amount, the man without legs, this small 7 year old basically lifeless. This is their everyday life.
We left in tears. Sad yes but thankful that Jesus revealed what His heart breaks for, and breaking my heart for the same thing.
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor.
He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives,
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set free those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.” Luke 4:18-19
