This is a topic that I’ve wanted to write about for the past month. However, I could never collect my thoughts to word it quite right.
Nonetheless, what I want to talk about is truth.
I feel that as an American, too many times we sweep the hard part of life under the rug. We love to tell people about the good parts of our lives, but we don’t usually like to talk about the struggles it took, or takes, to have them. We have our hedges manicured and our lawn cut pristinely, however our garage looks like it needs to be on “Hoarders”.
I’m sure a part of this is human nature and I understand that. However, from what I’ve seen so far on The World Race- this issue is the most prevalent in America compared to other countries. It’s the culture we’re raised in. We want everyone to see us as the best, and nothing less.
Unfortunately, I find myself doing the same on The Race. I post all of the wonderful photos of helping kids, preaching, doing manual labor, etc. However, I rarely talk about the difficult things and I certainly don’t post photos of the hard stuff.
There are many thoughts that run through my head when I think about giving the full story. I don’t want to whine about my life, yet I don’t want to be deceitful. I want to give an accurate depiction of what life is truly like for me, but I don’t want it to be taken as complaining.
I feel that I’m not alone in this mentality. I think back to my life before this trip back in The States and I add in the concern of not wanting to look soft, not wanting to appear inferior and being afraid to talk about struggles as if I was the only one with problems.
I believe many of these sentiments are shared by everyone. Some are bigger for others, but everyone suffers with some of these same concerns.
So why do we ignore that?
Perhaps, it’s not that we don’t want others to know, but that we don’t want to inconvenience them with our problems. However, that’s the whole point of a relationship. That’s the whole point of community. To let others in to your life and allow them to help you, or at least be there for you in the good times and especially the bad.
So, why have I not talked about the fact that last month was the hardest in a long time? Or that sometimes I question if it was worth the sacrifice. Or that living off of $3 a day for food drives me to eat the same flavorless bowls of rice every day.
The living conditions and lifestyle last month were some of the most difficult I’ve ever faced (and I lived at the Sigma Pi House) and I had a really, REALLY tough month. In fact, as I finish this I’m just now recovering from a 2 week sickness I’ve had that wrecked my entire body.
Yet, you don’t see me posting pictures of the heapfuls of plain white rice we ate every day breakfast lunch and dinner. You see the food we received at church that we were given as an honor.
You don’t see the photos of us struggling to maintain order with the kids in the classrooms, you see us smiling watching them play games.
Maybe it’s because I only make a conscious effort to remember the good parts? This goes back to the whole human nature thing.
^even typing a few of the difficulties I faced above was hard. Talking about our struggles; it’s a foreign concept that can be unhealthy if overdone, but it’s also unhealthy if we bottle it all in. Showing “weakness” and struggles is in an of itself a strength. I believe that we as human beings need to be open to sharing the not so glamorous sides in our lives. Not only is it healthy, but it also makes the celebration of the wonderful things that much sweeter.
Allowing our community into the difficult moments of our lives allows us to create a tighter community of people that we can lean on in times of trouble. It coerces us to be authentic which makes us more relatable to others around us. We become less intimidating when we put down the facade of perfection that we hide behind. We become more honest and more importantly, we become more accepting of ourselves.
So, I challenge each and every one of you. At least once a week for the next 6 months- let someone in on a struggle you’re going through. It can be as simple as telling someone you have a headache when they ask how you are, or as detailed as word vomiting something that’s really been on your mind to someone you trust.
Whatever it is, let it out. Using discernment, let those you love and trust into your life and let them understand that we’re not all perfect.
So that we all come to understand when it comes to relationships and authenticity, truth is greater than glamour.
