My heart is broken today…
Even writing this blog, it is difficult for me to stop my tears over the brokenness that I feel. The evil deeds of a man that I looked up to for a large part of my life were recently exposed to the world. I am talking about the world renown Christian apologist and preacher, Ravi Zacharias. For those of you who don’t know, Ravi Zacharias played a big role in strengthening and building my faith. In a time when I had serious doubts and questions about everything that I believed, the Lord used Ravi Zacharias to renew my faith and as a way to find answers. I remember staying up late night after night watching his YouTube videos going down rabbit trails about the meaning of life, the origin of morality, and reasons for my faith in Jesus. I read several of his books and my life was thoroughly enriched by the truth that he spoke. I wanted to be like him. The level of influence that he had and the way that even world leaders of terrorist organizations were listening to him and he had opportunities to share the gospel of Jesus with them and saw some repent was inspirational to me. I wanted to have his level of influence for the sake of the gospel and I wanted to help people find answers to some of life’s toughest questions. When Ravi Zacharias passed away several months ago, I cried. I thought to myself that a great man of God had just passed away. The people at his funeral that were closest to him and the way that they spoke about him; about his love, his integrity, and his character is exactly how I would want to be remembered.
So when I heard the recent news about all the evil and wicked things that he did, I was shocked. My heart was broken and again I began to weep. How could a man so used by God, who communicated such powerful truth so effectively with so much conviction, also be responsible for such wicked things?
“There is no such thing as a great man of God, only weak, pitiful, faithless men of a great and merciful God.”
-Paul Washer
As I reflected on all that happened, the Lord reminded me of this simple truth. We are all weak. We are all full of sin and the capacity to commit unspeakable atrocities. The people who committed the Holocaust were ordinary men. The man who rapes countless women and murders them is an ordinary man. Jesus described what was in the heart of man and he said that “For From within, out of the hearts of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these thing come from within, and the defile a person.” in Mark 7. The Bible is sure to taint and tarnish the reputation of virtually every one of its heroes. Abraham slept with his slave. Jacob deceived his brother and lied to his father and cheated his brother out of an inheritance that rightfully belonged to him. Moses killed a man in his anger. Rahab was a prostitute. King David, a man after God’s own heart, raped a woman, and murdered her husband to cover it up. I could go on and on down the hall of faith in Hebrews and we see a common trend in all of them; they all did what was wicked in God’s eyes. No one was good. It was then that I realized that I was asking the question in the wrong order. The question is not how can a man so used by God, do such evil things? The question is How men and women who do such evil things can still be used by God? It almost makes no sense. God’s grace really is scandalous. How can we tell a person that was a victim of such horrible crimes that the person that committed those crimes is being let off the hook because of their faith in Jesus? King David did those evil things, but God’s grace still rested upon Him. It almost seems wrong to tell the victims of violent and abusive crimes such as what David committed that this is a man after God’s own heart. This is the deepest problem of evil and why we all desperately need the cross.
We are all capable of the worst kinds of evil. None of us have ever been given the power and authority of a king. Few of us have ever had the level of influence and authority that a man like Ravi Zacharias had. We don’t know what it’s like to have the power to bring to pass any of the deepest and even darkest imaginations of our hearts. This is why men with incredible power and influence commit the most evil atrocities we can think of. It’s not because their character is that much worse than our own. (although Godly character does produce Godly fruit) Instead, it is because they are in a position to do and bring to pass what our minds can only imagine or think about doing. We all have this darkness in our hearts.
This is what Paul talks about in Romans when he says that “All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; the venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouths is full of bitterness and curses. Their feet are swift to shed innocent blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.”
This is what our hearts are like before we know God, and it still exists in us even after we do. But this is the hope we have, that while we were God’s enemies, Christ died for us to reconcile us back to himself.
Ephesians 2 says that we were by nature children of wrath…
But God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Christ-by grace you have been saved…”
Every person that speaks about the freedom they have newly obtained from the bondage of sin and decay speaks out of the abundance of the gift of God’s grace alone. God is quick to tarnish the reputation of those who follow him because He wants us to get that its not about us. Paul writes it simply in his letter to the Corinthians “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in human weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Cor. 12:9)
God does not use the man or woman who has their life together, who lives rightly, and loves Him as He ought to be loved… That person does not exist. Rather, he uses broken, incomplete, sinful, weak people to accomplish restorative, complete, holy and extraordinary things so that we can all see that all good things, including our own righteous deeds come from him. Ravi Zacharias’ entire lifetime of accomplishments and achievements; the souls he led to Christ; the acts of selfless love that he may have committed for his family or those he knew; none of those deeds can cover the evil deeds that he did over the course of his entire life. Only the precious blood of Christ and His finished work on the cross can do that.
So who does God use and Why?…
It turns out He uses the weak, broken and sinful to do extraordinary works so that we would know that He is great, extraordinary, powerful, merciful and worthy of all of our praise. This is why we boast in the Lord because where we are weak, He is strong. Where we are broken, he restores us. Where we are sinful and dirty, he cleanses us and makes us white as snow.
