Last week was a really tough week for me. Like I mentioned before, I felt like I was falling apart and that everything that I was, was a lie. I don’t know if other people have this crisis often or if it’s just me, but I notice that every time I fail, don’t meet God’s standards or don’t meet my own standards for my life, I always have to combat a voice I call the voice of condemnation. The voice of condemnation is often a tricky voice to recognize. It disguises itself as a voice of justice. It is our mind’s way of giving us what we think we deserve when we fail. The voice of condemnation says I failed, so I am a failure. I am a failure so I am a worthless. I am worthless until I stop failing. The voice of condemnation is so tricky because it rightly acknowledges sin and acknowledges that there is a debt to be paid. It acknowledges a lack of merit, rightfully so. But, the truth in condemnation stops not in what it acknowledges, but in what it fails to acknowledge. Condemnation acknowledges truth without Jesus.
I very often find myself relating with Paul. In Romans 7, he talks about his battle with sin and how he often does the things that he hates and the things that he wants to do he does not do. He talks about how when he sins it is no longer him, but sin that lives within him and nothing good dwells in his flesh.
“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”
Romans 7:25
When I find myself going back to the things I know God hates, I cannot help but feel these words of Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
Then, he writes some of the most profound and liberating truths in all scripture.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
Romans 8:1-2
This is where conviction begins and condemnation ends. Because although conviction also begins by acknowledging sin, it always finishes with acknowledging Christ. Christ has set us free from the law of our flesh. I once obeyed my flesh and had no other choice. My flesh was my master and I was under the condemnation that my sin brought. But because of Christ and the debt he paid, I am no longer under condemnation. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Paul continues on to write what I consider to be one of my favorite chapters in all scripture. He affirms that anyone who has the Spirit of God belongs to Him and if you belong to Him, He confirms through His Spirit that you are His child. There is no level of sin or failure that can take that away.
God’s love and the value He placed in us through the death of Christ changes our identity. Yes, I failed. But I am not a failure. Yes, I sin. But, God’s love calls me a saint. Yes, my actions repeatedly disappoint myself as well as others. But I am not a disappointment. I don’t have to walk in God’s truth all the time for His truth to still be true. The question when you sin and fall short of God’s standard is which voice will you believe. The voice of condemnation which says that you must pay your dues for your sin before you can come back to God or the voice of conviction that says that you can come back to God as you are because you are His child and you belong to him. Condemnation keeps you enslaved and trapped in your sin because you can never be worthy enough to commune with God through your own efforts. Conviction invites you to commune with God because He already declared you worthy when he died for you on the cross.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16
You don’t have to fix yourself up to approach God’s presence, you simply have to believe what He says about your worth, your identity, and His unending love. In all of this, though I know that I fall short of God’s glory continually, I know that if I just go back into His presence and seek Him that He will be swift to restore me and redeem where I messed up. He will also be faithful to renew my mind and make me more like Him. The work that God starts, He always completes and you may be frustrated with where you are in that process, but believe God and what He has spoken because He will not leave you where you are now, unfinished, but He is building a masterpiece that will reveal his glory for eternity.
