Life. It’s crazy right? We go through life trying to figure out who we are, and we try to control each and every day, not just the day as a whole but each moment, not knowing what is going to come from it. A good example of this is wind. Wind can be fast or slow, it can be crazy, or it can be calm. We honestly never know what it will be like, just like our day. Some people then go to God for these things hoping and wishing that he will help us through. At that moment we study everything about him, we read his word, pray to him, worship him, but then we fall because we are trying to understand him and get answers right away. God doesn’t always work like that; it takes time. That is the hardest part…having trust and faith. Two things people in this world have lost because of experiences. I am only saying these things because it’s what I am going though right now, and I feel like a lot of other people in this world might be going through the same thing too.
It’s not easy and sometimes it gets worse and worse before you even think about the wind calming down. I have been on the World Race now for 4 months and am starting in my 5th month. I started the Race with a boyfriend and a love for God. What I didn’t know is how much God would push me to have that trust and faith in him. The first month? Well it was easy. I was on a team that had it all, we had AC, running water, we got to make our own food, and none of us got sick. In month 2, I feel like God was asking me to trust him even through the hard times. I was having trouble finding joy every day, and I was thinking how easy it would be to go home to my life I had before the Race. But he helped me get through it. Month 3 was the hardest month of my Race so far, that’s for sure. I decided I wanted to give it all to God: my life, my relationship, I mean everything. And I did. The second I did that, God challenged me kinda like Job in the Bible. It felt like the devil was taking everything from me. My relationship ended, I got sick, some of my favorite shirts had to be thrown away, and I started to hate my body and what I had become. I mean, it felt like a crazy wind storm that was never going to stop. I was losing trust, and I was thinking about leaving.
Today I have came to this conclusion… Why can’t we just have faith and trust in God no matter what!? Why is it so hard? It’s hard because we have been hurt by so many people and things in our life. But here is the thing guys, God is always there and is alway trying to make things better. It’s hard and yes we want to quit, but we can’t, because even when we don’t love God or we are super mad at him for things that have happened, he still loves us. He is always going to love us no matter what. He’s always looking over your shoulder and waiting for you to come back to him, waiting for you to trust and have faith.
