home. where is “home?” i keep catching myself saying “i can’t wait until i’m home.” how rude of me to God; never have i not been “home.” the Lord is my home. He has driven that fact into me since the beginning of kansas city when i had to move my senior year of highschool. i had to learn really quickly that my “home” resides in Him or else life is just simply going to suck. it was pretty black and white then due to how hard life was. but here it’s a little different: not living as if i’m home in Heaven makes me feel like crap, yes, but it’s different because i’m surrounded by people i love, with so many amazing things to do-it wasn’t like that in KC. it’s funny still though because it’s just surface level joy right now. i’m convincing myself that life is good because i’m doing things that should make life “good.” but it’s not good. it’s never going to be good if God isn’t involved. if i’m not first confiding in Him, then any sense of joy is going to be counterfeit. & it also works the other way; i could hate the place i’m in and still be filled with deep, authentic joy because of simply inviting the Lord into the situation. not even inviting but just acknowledging His presence. it is impossible to go anywhere or do anything and the Lord not be there next to us. impossible. but again, a literal black and white difference when we simply acknowledge that He truly is there.
recently i have been quick to tell everyone and their dog that i am not a fan of costa rica, with a long list of excuses as to why that is. telling everyone except for God. and what He said to me when i finally sat and talked to Him after a month of making Him second choice, He plainly said, “you know it’s because you’re living this life alone. like you can do it all on your own. like you, yourself, can manufacture feelings of joy or peace. you’re trying to find your comfort in the people around you even though you’ve learned time after time that people are insufficient. they aren’t capable of being your refuge. jaynna, you’ve never not been home. you’ve just acted like you’re not.”
and i said wow.
God is gracious. He is a gentleman. He is never going to take my heart or life unless i first give it to Him. He waited until i put myself in the position of surrenderence, that’s when He changes us. when we make ourselves vulnerable to Him. He‘s not going to bless what’s not His. and He’s not going to take what’s not His.
hey same for the devil. except it’s not that he won’t, it’s the fact that he can’t. that coward can’t take anything unless we give it to him. he can’t have a foothold in our lives unless we allow him to.
we get to choose who has control of our lives. the devil CANnot take what isn’t surrendered to him and the Lord WILL not take what isn’t surrendered to Him.
i just urge you to take some time and reflect on your being, who has foothold in your life? someone does. we aren’t just floating atoms, our lives are either lived for the Lord or they’re lived for the devil aka (the world.) which boat are you in right now?
