Something people have constantly told me is that I’m a preacher and a teacher. A title that I’ve wanted no part in and honestly has never made sense to me. When I think of a preacher I think of a person that is super eloquent with their words. They always know what to say and when to say it. They are are storytellers that can paint a perfect pictures of the gospel that brings conviction to people. They brings authority and wisdom with their words. All things I never thought I did.
In the context of Christian community, I allowed this to mute my voice. I constantly compared the way I spoke to how other people spoke. I thought “they know way more then me. They are better Christians. They should be the ones to speak, not me.” And for many moments, I fell silent. When I had words for people, I didn’t say them because I thought my words weren’t good enough. When I felt like I should call someone higher and tell them something hard, I didn’t because why would they listen to me? When there was an option for me to speak up, I never did. I just hid in the background and played my “part.”
Over the course of this past year, I’ve grown tremendously in finding my voice, making it known to others and using it as a way to connect people back to the Lord. I started speaking up, sharing what the Lord was teaching me. I wasn’t shy when it came to evangelism. And this new lifestyle was magnified even more when I became a team leader. I now had to lead people in finding there voice, using my own to uplift and edify them. It started out being pretty hard and uncomfortable. When it came time for me to speak in a front of large group I was always so nervous. The thought that people wanted to listen to me seemed like a lie. I would say what I would have to say and people would usually compliment me for the way I spoke, but I still wasn’t completely confident with this new platform I had.
It sounds pretty cliche to say, but my whole perspective on this changed with one simple exchange. It was the moment I met Maria. I was passing out bibles in this neighborhood one day then out of the corner of my eye I see her at the end of the street in her wheelchair. I approached her, asked if her and her husband wanted a bible, they took it and I left. I was walking away, then the Lord tells me to turn around. I turned around and they are reading the Bible I had just handed them. He then says “go pray for them.” I approach them again with a translator and ask if I can pray for them. The husband agreed and asked me to pray for Maria because she has special needs, and can’t talk.
I clenched my hands together, took a deep breath and spoke.
Father.
Jacob, open your eyes.
God, Why?! I’ve only said one word.
Thats all that is needed.
I slowly opened my eyes and there I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. There Maria was. Her face was deteriorated. Her cheeks weren’t strong enough to smile. Her skin drooped so it looked like she was frowning, but there in the center of all of it were the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Bluer then any tropical ocean or sky, and surrounding those blue eyes was red, from the tears that started to flow from her face.
All I said was “Father”, but that was enough for her. I went through the rest of my prayer and stared into her eyes, admiring the heaven I could see in them. And she stared back with her eyes welling and tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t speak, but her eyes said it all. I imagined that she was screaming praises to the father.
I learned a powerful thing that day. Its not what I say, but the power and authority that are in my words that matters. I believe the name of the Lord is what brought Maria to tears. It wasn’t anything eloquent I said. I didn’t use the right christian language. I didn’t have the most wisdom in my words. I just did what I only know how to do: call the father out by name. And thats enough. Its always enough. there is so much power and authority in his name. His name brings all things together, it leads to healing, it brings us to his feet.
I can speak with complete confidence now, because I know the Lord is speaking through me. I can breathe life into people through my words, because He has breathed life into me through His words. I can choose to cry out “Father” over people, for life is found that one word.
