Theres something special about a Jesus moment. You usually feel overwhelmed with love and grace. There is a joy that overflows your bones. You forget about everything and just live in His presence.
The World Race is filled with these.
I can vividly remember the moment in the kitchen of Ecuador when the Bible became so alive to me in a way I had never experienced before. Or the moment on the coach in Peru when I felt like I fully understood the radical and reckless love of God for the first time. Or the moment I sat on the floor in a village home in Guatemala and the sound of believers crying out to the father made me feel like I was in heaven.
These moments are legitimate and are testimonies of God’s goodness. They are the fruit of our faith, but they do not necessarily define our faith. A lot of my life, I thought I had to always have crazy Jesus moments. I had to feel his presence all the time during worship, I had to see crazy revelations in my bible readings. And if I didn’t that meant my relationship with God was stagnant.
So whenever the dry season, the in-between, the white space would inevitably come, I would question the legitimacy of my faith and my devotion to God. I would see my faith as boring, mundane and unfruitful, I would often question why it felt so hard to follow Jesus, to open my bible, to pray. I would ask things like “God why am I pushing away from you?” “Why do I not feel your presence?” “Why am doing the things you don’t want me to do, and not doing the things you want me to do?” I would usually try to fix myself up before I felt like I could continue my relationship with God.
Its not until the Race that I realized the importance of the “In-between.” I love what I heard a pastor say: “Great moments with Jesus doesn’t make for a great relationship with him, A great relationship with Jesus will make for great moments.” You see all my life, I missed the point. I thought a relationship with Jesus entailed searching for him in a super deep and spiritual way, and when I wouldn’t find him I would just give up. When He was really right in front of me the whole time; he just wasn’t as spiritual and as deep as I thought he would be. What I’ve realized is that its in the in-between where deep intimacy with the Lord is cultivated. Its where a relationship with God takes roots. Its not about just once in a while having a crazy spiritual moment then going back to your normal life. Its about every day desiring to grow deeper and deeper in love with Jesus.
If I’m completely vulnerable, I AM CURRENTLY IN A DRY SEASON. I haven’t really had many Jesus moments, I struggle some mornings to wake up to go to ministry, I haven’t seen any revelation in my bible reading. And thats okay. A lot of our faith will be spent here. And the same God who is present in the super spiritual moments is the same God who is present in the in-between. Its still been hard, I still sometimes question my devotion to God. But everyday I am pushing for more of Him. For more intimacy. Because the God of the in-between is still worth it. He’s still as good. He’s still active in our lives.
My prayer for us as believers is that we would see Jesus for who He is, not just a distorted version of who we want him to be. That we would realize that Jesus is still as powerful and is still moving in our lives no matter the season of life. I pray that we would push deeper into God, even when we don’t feel it, even when we feel dry in our faith, even when the in-between of life comes. I pray that we would abide in the vine and see the fruit that comes of it.
