I want to share my biggest fears: and it’s that I can know Jesus but not worship the right Jesus.
Let me explain.
The scene in John 18 perfectly describes what I mean. In this chapter Judas (who betrays Jesus) brings around 150 soldiers, with weapons and torches, to the garden at which Jesus was meeting with his disciples. Jesus says to them, “Whom do you seek?” They answered him, “Jesus of Nazareth.” Then Jesus responds, “I AM HE.” And just at the name of Jesus, all the soldiers drew back and fell to the ground. He asked them again, “Whom do you seek?” They said, “Jesus of Nazareth.” Jesus said, “I told you, I am He. If you seek me let these men go.” In response to this, Simon Peter uses his sword and strikes the high priest and cuts off his right ear. So Jesus says to Peter, “put your sword down into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me.”
This passage sent me into a whirlwind this past Wednesday. It had me thinking: Is the Jesus I’m worshipping, the Jesus that would stand in front of my enemies and say “I am He, Jesus of Nazareth”? Or have I degraded Jesus to a level that Simon Peter did and feel the need to step in front of Jesus and fight His battle?
This is my fear: that instead of worshipping the true Jesus, I could actually just be worshipping a microcosm of who He actually is. That I have molded Jesus into what I want him to be. A Jesus that doesn’t call me to carry my cross. A Jesus that once I say a certain prayer I am saved and can do whatever I want. A Jesus that I worship on Sunday and the rest of the week I live my normal life. For a long time my view of Jesus has been misconstrued and I have shrunk Jesus to a miniature version of who He actually is. I think I have ended up like Simon Peter, believing that Jesus isn’t sufficient so I have to fight the battle for Jesus and I end up only striking my enemy in the ear.
I am fighting for a bigger view of Jesus. A Jesus of the Great I am. These are a list of 7 things that Jesus is that I have degraded him from.
- “I am the bread of life”
- “I am the light of the world”
- “I am the good Shepard”
- “I am the Resurrection and the Life”
- “I am the way, the truth, the life”
- “I am the true vine”
- “I am He”
These are all statements found in John that Jesus said to fulfill Old Testament prophecy. This is the true Jesus. Not the Jesus I have painted and molded into. The true Jesus is the sufficient bread that once we eat we will never hunger again. The true Jesus is the light that never burns out and shines out the darkness. The true Jesus is the good Shepherd that leads its sheep and will leave the 99 to find the one who is lost. The true Jesus is the resurrection and the life that resurrects us out of our past life into a new life. The true Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life who is the only way to true salvation and joy. The true Jesus is the true vine who abides in us to bear much fruit. The true Jesus is He, Jesus of Nazareth. Anything less is not the right Jesus.
The only response to the Jesus of Nazareth is worship. Not the worship of singing, but the worship of full surrender and submission to the Lord. I love the picture shared in the story of Jesus arrest. That at the name of Jesus, all 150 soldiers fell back. Because that’s how POWERFUL His name is. In the position of Worship, on the ground, in full surrender to his name, we are going nowhere. There are no distractions, no where to be, just in His presence soaking up His name.
Everyday I am fighting for a bigger view of Jesus. That I would not under appreciate, under represent, or get bored with the Jesus of Nazareth. That I would do the opposite of Simon Peter and realize that Jesus is never outmatched and He is able to fight the battle: so I don’t need to.
Thank you to the great “I am” that my sins became Your sins, my crucifixion became Your crucifixion and my resurrection became Your resurrection. Thank you that You drank from my cup of judgment and refilled it with Your spirit.
I pray that I would not underestimate the name of Jesus. That the Jesus I worship would say “I am HE, whom you worship.”
