I have so much love for the addicts just trying to make there world still. A struggling world is what today offers. I truly believe there is not a bad person in the world. Everyone is made in Gods image. Yeah influence, world, and possession can make the choices improper. If you look further, it’s not Gods intended purpose. A 19 year old version of myself once laid in a hospital bed in my parents house absolutely captivated by opioids of all kinds. I was deep down chasing the stillness the pills provided. I never once intended to find a peace in a pill. I laid in a mainlined love with no pain, not a care in the world. I was 19 when I get into a car wreck almost losing my life. Femur fracture x2, with multiple emergency surgeries. If you ask me personally the physical accident it’s self didn’t hurt me at all. It was after that the stillness ran cold. My mind completely blank to who I really was and seeing myself through a pill. At the time I thought it was the perfect look. It didn’t take long before my veins roared for attention into more. Life doesn’t always go according to your “perfect plan”. What happens when you get off a buzz, you look for more and more. Life can bury you before you get the chance to live. It took a time that felt like forever to come to sense. I got myself cleaned up and brushed myself off. I kept searching for a place in my heart to still. I eventually got my dream condo, dog, job, girl, car, motorcycle, and everything you could imagine you’d ever want as a 22 year old. The appreciation, gratitude, Joy was all so buried deep into my soul. I couldn’t get the place in my heart to still. I was still striving for something I couldn’t find. When you lose the kick of the drug, heartbreak, and whatever turned your heart to lose your real self; Your still chasing the still. When I was told who Jesus was and who I am, I remember running up a stairs a minute after feeling something come unburied inside of me. A joy, peace, and a still. I found my chase. I see through a new version of myself. God choose me! I’m learning so much about who I am this year. It’s like I never existed before, It was all just a learning experience. I wouldn’t have my life go any other way. I’m now just a sinner looking to Jesus Christ. I’m blameless not faultless trying to become more purpose driven by Christ everyday. I believe that everything that I have been through is going to be used for much more than I could ever imagine possible. If I would have had the “path I had planned” I wouldn’t be who I am today. I am complete in the name of Jesus Christ. Jesus says this to his people go learn this “I desire mercy, not sacrifice”. He wants your heart. Let go of all this worldly vision and see the light. Life is so beautiful and precious. I love you Jesus Christ.
Love, Jacob
