The other day, I was talking to one of my friends about a blog she had been working on. She was writing about how the past few months had been hard for her, but that she had chosen to believe God would help her through it. She didn’t exactly say the words “I choose to…” in her blog, but it was evident that moving past the hurt was a choice she was making. This conversation led us to the realization that literally everything we’ve done on the race has been a choice. I mean, I’ve probably written the words “I choose to” in every single blog that I’ve written so far. We even joked that it should be called The World Choice instead of The World Race.
I’ve heard my whole life that I don’t have to let my circumstances define me. That I get to choose to find joy when joy seems so far from reach. That I get to choose to be present when I don’t want to be. It even comes down to choosing to do simple things that someone asks me to. It’s not like my mom was going to ask me to clean my room and then physically move my arms to make me do it – it was something I had to choose whether or not to do. Or at school, it’s not like my teachers were going to move my hand to make me write my papers – it was my choice to honor them by doing it myself. I used to read quotes that seemed silly when they said things like “choose to smile” or “make today amazing”. They all seemed like cliches. In fact, before I wrote blogs myself about choosing joy or choosing to trust, I had read similar things other’s had written and found it hard to believe them.
Recently, it’s hit me how impactful making decisions and believing in them actually is.
And I think the reason it took me so long to understand this is because I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
For me, that’s the most amazing part.
I mean, come on guys! Literally every single thing in we do in this life is a choice – but most of them are choices we make unconsciously. Brushing our teeth in the morning is a choice we make, but it’s not like we sit there and actually convince ourselves to do it – it’s just natural! And all these choices I’m learning to make on the race – I want them to become natural too.
I choose to be present with my team, because it’s something my heart desires – not because it’s a choice I feel like I should make.
I choose to be happy even when it feels like it’s a million degrees outside, because happiness is something I automatically choose over anything else – not because I have to make myself choose it.
I choose to play with the kids outside during recess, even though the classroom has air conditioning, because I genuinely love running around with them and seeing them smile up at me and watching them laugh when I forget how to jumprope and seeing them stick their tongues out when I chase them in a game of tag – not because I just feel like its the right choice.
I choose to enjoy washing the dishes, even when I’m assigned to them two weeks in a row, because it’s a time when I want to talk with whoever is drying the dishes, and a time when I want to be thankful for the food I just ate and the people who cooked it, and a time when I want to look out the window and smile at the kids playing in the street – not because I’ve been told that I should be thankful or that I’m supposed to have a good attitude.
I choose to trust God, because I know with all of my heart that he is working everything out for my good – not just because someone told me I should trust him.
I choose to invest in every stranger I meet and be kind to them, even if I’m not in the mood, because I know that I get to see a new face of God in everyone I meet, and because I don’t want to miss the chance to meet someone like Anna, who just yesterday showed me what it looks like to have joy so freely – not just because as Christians we are told to treat everyone kindly.
I choose to not be afraid, because I believe that there is nothing in this world to scare me when the God of angle armies is on my side – not just because someone told me it’s a choice I can make.
Honestly, what it boils down to is choosing to LIVE.
When we aren’t present, when we don’t let ourselves be happy and joyful, when we choose out of ministry opportunities, when we don’t decide to spend time with the people we love, when we do chores begrudgingly, when we act passively towards our friends or ignore strangers we pass on the street – we’re choosing to live empty lives.
Oscar Wilde once said that “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
I don’t know about you, but I choose to live.
