You might have realized that I haven’t written a blog in quite a while. I’ve been home from training camp for a couple weeks, and just kept putting it off. If I’m being completely honest with you, it’s because I didn’t want to write something that wasn’t “good enough”.
I wanted to write something inspiring.
I wanted to write something perfect.
I wanted to write something that sounded good.
And quite frankly, I didn’t feel like I would be able to. I saw other’s amazing blog posts and didn’t think I would ever be able to write something that good. I didn’t think I could ever make words sound that pretty or sum up everything I needed to say that well. To put it simply, I was comparing myself and my blog to the others that I had seen. As I kept paging through my notes and journalings from camp trying to come up with the right words to say, I found a few things that stuck out to me.
First, one of our speakers had hit on the topic of comparison. It comes down to this: comparison tears us apart. When we try to compare ourselves and the stories we have to tell with those of others, it creates a gap between us. Now it is like we are competing to share what the Lord has given us when all he wants is for us to tell our own stories while being happy for other people’s stories. I had to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to write something inspiring, perfect, and good every time I wrote a blog and be okay with that.
Which brings me to the next point; I’m not big enough to mess up God’s story. It’s not up to me to write a blog that is going to change everyone’s life and fix everything. It might feel like my words aren’t good enough or that they didn’t hit their mark, but none of that matters. No matter what I say, the words that God speaks through me might plant one tiny seed – and that’s all that matters. God’s story is the bigger picture, and he wants us to tell everyone we see about him. In Mark 5, Jesus restores a demon-possessed man. Once healed, the man wants to stay close to Jesus and hear and see more about him, he begs Jesus to let him come with him. What good does it do if all we do is see the wonders of God, and hear the words of God, but only keep them to ourselves? Jesus knew how important it was to share the story, so he sends that man out to tell what God has done for him. A man who used to be demon possessed might not seem like the most qualified to share God’s story – but that doesn’t matter to God. When God is in the story, it becomes a story worth sharing.
Lastly, we also talked a lot at camp about “why” we blog. The answer is that blogging is ministry. It reaches people, it changes people. I can testify that this is true. One of the reasons I decided to go on the world race was because of a blog I had read from a past racer. And it wasn’t some super fantastic life changing blog. It was just a blog about a book a girl had read that I was also reading. That simple blog changed my life, and I have the opportunity now to change other lives. A lot of people in our culture have gotten quieter about their faith, they don’t see that there is beauty in every story God gives us. I don’t want to be like that. Even when it feels like my words are not enough, I want to tell the stories God gives me over the next year. I want to be a part of the ministry.
One of my favorite songs lately has been “Storyteller” by Morgan Harper Nichols. The chorus goes like this: “The mountain where I climbed / the valley where I fell / you were there all along / that’s the story I’ll tell / you brought the pieces together / made me this storyteller / now I know it is well, it is well / that’s the story I’ll tell.” I love this song because it says that even three little words, like “it is well”, can be a story that needs telling, a story that someone needs to here. It says that even in valleys, God is there, and that makes it a story to tell. It says that on mountains, because God is the one who brought you there, it becomes a story to tell.
Thinking about writing this blog today, I looked back at my first blog. The last sentence of that post went like this: “So that’s how my story with the World Race began, and this is the blog I’ll use to continue sharing my story throughout the race, all I have to say right now is wow, God’s pretty AWESOME!” Seeing that sentence made me smile, because you know what, even if all have to say is “God’s pretty awesome!” – that’s a story I want to tell.
Support Update:
A HUGE thank you to everyone who has supported me both prayerfully and financially. It feels so amazing to know there are so many people joining me on this journey and supporting me each step of the way.
I have already raised $15,137 – so so amazing!! – which means I currently only have a little over $600 left to raise to meet my goal of $15,800!! If you feel led to give, you can scroll to the top of this blog post and click the donate button.
