There is always that one spot or season in the race where you feel lowest. It is not necessarily the place or the people you are surrounded by but what you are going through emotionally and spiritually. This low spot chose to hit me about a month ago. Not to mention I got this wonderful thing called lice these past 2 weeks, that was an adventure of its own haha! Recently, God has been walking me through some healing and revelations of my heart. I have been learning a lot about how He is a God of the journey. He is a good father who doesn’t just get us to the end goal right away but takes His time as a father to guide and comfort us along the path we are going on. That He wants me to gain perseverance and character through the seasons He has me in.
To work through our hearts piece by piece slowly peeling away layers so we can see who we truly are in His eyes. It is not easy to be patient and comfortable through it all but by learning more about His intentions and His love for me, I’ve come to learn more about myself. Realizing how in His everlasting faithfulness He is gradually changing me into me! I am constantly being nudged by Him into the uncomfortable. In this uncomfortable He is slowing picking away at my heart and revealing my truest potential. Whether this is a small nudge or a push in the direction of something that is questionable and nerve racking, I have learned that saying “yes” to those feelings inside that are pushing you(the Holy Spirit) are really the Lord growing your character and heart for Him. He has put a faith that brings boldness on my heart and I was given an awesome opportunity to lead a devotional to my whole squad at our midpoint debrief. There I talked on renewal how the Lord walked me through it with baptism, how He is calling us all into it, and how it is not one glorious moment but numerous little moments throughout our days where we choose Jesus.
Here at Hopethiopia I have had extended amounts of time to spend with Him and in His enduring word. A lot of space to build a firm foundation in my Heavenly Father and there I have experienced a lot of growth in the wisdom His word carries and in my own self. Each day I am learning a new thing about my father through the reading of scripture. Something that not just stands on its own but works through us. Something we pick up and embrace in life.
I feel I have let God out of the box I had been putting Him in by leading a life of religion not of relationship and faith. It was a comfortable and safe arrangement that lessened my spirit. I’ve found that life is something that the Lord wants to walk alongside me through. In all that I do I should operate out of both the Holy Spirit and faith given by the Lord. A big saying that comes up often is “trust in the process.” Realizing that we don’t always have control of our life and what goes on around and in our hearts but the Lord does. He is working such goodness into it, although we may not constantly see right in that moment but His fruit will come. Learning how to have faith in my father and what He has for me! I am already seeing the love and joy He places on me with the fulfillment of His promises. “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”(Hebrews 11:1).
Asking for prayers over me and my team, as we have to say goodbye to Ethiopia and hello to this new season in Nicaragua. Much love and thanks!
