Honestly, I’ve put off this blog for so long. In Cambodia, God told me to write about something and I kept making excuses for not writing it. The blog is kind of hard for me to write because I haven’t had the best experiences in the past, but here you go. God told me to write about the men on my squad.
In Cambodia, the wonderful men of my squad spent a day truly pouring into the women on my team. They planned a whole day to make us feel special. They make us feel loved everyday, but this day they put so much planning and effort into making us women feel like how God would treat us.
The night before the special day, we got a note from the men saying to be ready the next day at 8 am for a fancy breakfast. We woke up, got ready and went over to the men’s house. They were waiting outside for us and each man took a women from my team by the arm and led us in to our spots at the table. The table was nicely decorated with our names at our places and yummy food prepared by the men. We got flowers and special notes from them; the men did listening prayer for each of us. After breakfast, they told us to get ready to go to a waterpark. We all got our swimsuits on and hopped on a tuk-tuk to head to the water park. When we got there, we saw that it was completely empty and we got the whole water park to ourselves. We played in the little kids play set, laughed a lot, jumped off of things we shouldn’t have, took pictures, and just had a good time. Then, we went to have lunch together. After lunch, we took a break for a little bit and then had a photoshoot before dinner. Dinner was something else; We went to the upper room of a restaurant in Battambang and had dinner and then we worshipped together and the men washed each of our feet and prayed over us. That night was so powerful. Seeing men serve us women like Jesus would made tears well up in my eyes. I sat there worshipping, watching these men pray over my teammates, after experiencing it myself, and saw the heart of Jesus in each one of them.
After that day, God told me to write about it. He wanted me to share the ways that I’ve viewed men my age and the things that I saw in these men that were different. I kept putting it off because I didn’t want to share the ways I viewed men. At that time, I didn’t even see the men on my squad as men to be trusted yet. I’ve never really jumped into friendships with guys because honestly I saw every guy my age as a player who just wanted something from me. I grew up avoiding them because I didn’t even want to deal with that. That mindset I grew up with came into the race with me. I saw that the men I was living with were different, but I didn’t want to admit it because I still saw them as what I saw every guy as. Throughout the race, God has kept showing me how these men are different and how I shouldn’t treat them like normal men; These men are so beloved by God. God is so proud of these men. These men don’t desire to take things from us women, these men don’t desire to hurt us, these men don’t want to cause us to stumble, and these men don’t want to see us be treated like anything less than women of God should be treated.
During this past debrief, we did a men’s pageant for fun. The men really didn’t want to, but they did for us. We didn’t mean to put them in situations of comparison or hurt, but someone on our squad mentioned during worship how we are picking apart too much of these men when all they’ve done is love us and protect us. We question what they’re wearing and make fun of them, but they do none of that to us. These men did the pageant because they desire to please us and make us happy. They put aside themselves to love us well. And as fun as it was, I see how it could have been hard for them.
Men of squad S, thank you for always being true to the men God made you to be. Thank you for not demeaning us women; Thank you for treating us how God would treat us. You men are men who are after God’s heart and I truly believe that whatever woman God brings to you, she will honor and respect you just like God respects and loves you. Each and every one of you are men that I will use as an example to find my future husband. You love women, pray for them, protect them, worship with them, encourage them, spur them towards good works, set a good example for them, and lead them further into their relationship with their Heavenly Father. I am amazed by the men that God has put in my life for this season. These men have reminded me to find my husband in God first and I cannot wait for this next season of doing just that.
Over my life, God has been just someone I go to every once in a while during the day. Then, someone put into perspective the idea of a husband and wife. The husband and wife are so in love that they think about each other many times through the day and hate spending time apart from each other. My biggest passion in life has always been marriage; after the race, I really wanted to step into that next season. However, I’m beginning to realize that maybe my next season isn’t finding my earthy husband, but my heavenly husband in God.
Girls, there are men out there who are pursuing God before any women. I just want to remind you not to settle and to find your husband in God before you do in any other man. Also, men are not where you find your identity and affirmation. Your affirmation is found in God and God alone. You are worthy before any man tells you you’re beautiful, you are chosen before any man texts you back, and you’re pursued before any man asks you to go out with him. God has all of this and more for you. Before the race, I saw men as threats. I didn’t want to find my affirmation in them and so I avoided them. However, because I didn’t see God as my husband, I found affirmation in men without even thinking I was. I wouldn’t pursue relationships, but I lusted over men and desired a relationship so badly. In this next season of going home, God is challenging me to find my husband in Him and to treat the men in my life like how God would treat them.
Thank you so much Abba for this season on the race and the things you’ve taught me. I am overwhelmed by the ways you’ve shown up and continue to show up.
Love, Gabs
M
