Ever since leaving home, God has been teaching me a lot about simply being in His arms, knowing that He has already named me His daughter, and that I do not need to work for His love. In life, it is never about fitting into the world; that’s what I always thought growing up. I would strive to be someone who the world would call worthy and I never succeeded. I was constantly asking myself, “What can I do to make people love me more?” On the race, I have realized that living like that caused me a ton of pain. Because of my striving to make the world love me, I have failed to give myself necessary grace for mistakes and I have failed to accept that God has called me His child, beloved and worthy already. Despite anything I could do or ever have done, I am already called worthy. And He has been working with me on the fact that no matter what the world thinks of me, He has called me qualified and therefore, no one can disqualify me. It has been a beautiful process of reconciliation to my Father; realizing that He’s been wanting to hold me all of this time and that I just need to stop striving and start trusting.
