W H O I U S E D T O B E
Growing up my mom has always told me that I would make a good police officer or someone who works with the law. I was always one to follow the rules and point out people who were not.
In preschool I was told that I would come home and rat my brother out that he got in trouble, I got a sense of pride that I was able to point out that he failed and I could “control” him to do what I thought was best. The problem with that is that my own opinion may look better to me, but it might not actually be what is actually better for that specific person and the situation they are in. Since I was young I’ve felt the need to control situations to prevent failure – to prevent my expectations put on people to not be followed through.
W H A T I A M W O R K I N G T H R O U G H R I G H T N O W
Over the last month I have been reflecting and learning a lot about myself and the way I come across to people.
It would always frustrate me when people would not live up to the expectations and the potential I could see in them. It made me come across as controlling and micromanaging over people, when I wanted it to come from a place of pointing what ever it is out and pointing them higher to God. I want so bad for people to live up to these standards and not let me down because that’s “not right,” or the godly way. However, what I’ve been learning is that it is not my job to control people or tell them what to do every moment and then be mad when they don’t do it. It is not my job to micromanage but to seek to understand why someone is doing what they are doing instead of assuming the worst case scenario. I need to let go of what my expectations my flesh has put on them because that is not from the Lord, and it’s just my job to be their friend and point them back to the Adonia [it is derived from the word adon which is of the meaning ‘lord, ruler’]. My trust needs to first rely in the Lord, and that He has never and will never let me down, and then from building that trust, practicing it out in the community around me.
The scripture in Proverbs 3:5 has really stuck out to me lately and something I’ve been reminding myself of; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
W H O I W A N T T O G R O W I N T O
I want to press into the Lord and rely on Him and fully trust in Him and trust in the people around me. I want to grow in how I speak to people and how my concern may come across. I want to learn how to use my frustration towards seeing people’s potential and them not meeting up to my expectations to FUEL me to walk beside them as Jesus did, rather than look down on them and tell them what to do.
